‘Daddy, please don’t be silly’; Anatomy of an insult
Nobody likes to be insulted, not even little children who very often may not fully understand the import of the words of an insult. Especially for Ghanaians, and to a large extent in many other societies, being at the receiving end of an insult is something that no one desires for himself. Not even simple insults such as ‘silly’, ‘foolish’, ‘stupid’.
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Good old Peter Akwasi Sarpong states in his book, Ghana In Retrospect, “If there is anything that the Ghanaian cannot stand, especially in public, it is insulting him.’’ An insult strikes at the very core of one of the most important universal values that people cherish – honour.
Alongside other values such as hospitality, godliness, respect, gratitude and motherhood, honour stands very tall among Ghanaian values. Animguaseɛ mmfata Akan ni ba, (Disgrace is worse than death), an Akan saying, illustrates how seriously any infraction on someone’s honour may be taken.
The effect of an infraction on honour may go beyond just the individual to his family, his clan, his community and any association the victim may belong to. Quarrels have arisen between individuals, and battles have been fought between communities in order to protect honour. See how, for example, supporters of a losing football team moan and groan when they are beaten.
Sake of honour
Recently, someone posted on Facebook that the way Manchester United were losing matches and their fortunes were sinking, they may soon strike oil. It may have been only a joke but the responses that this post received by way of comments ran into many pages. The supporters of the club were defending their honour!
So for the sake of honour, insults are not desirable in Ghanaian society. Indeed if it was possible, people would be better off doing away with insults all together. Unfortunately human beings are not wired like that. People insult for various reasons but generally people who are angry insult other people because in their anger they don’t seem to think of a better way to handle a situation and, therefore, attempt to make the other person feel bad.
Traditional etiquette
Fortunately, Ghanaian traditional etiquette, recognising the hurt that insults can create for a person or community, admonishes people to moderate their insults; if they must, to lessen their impact on a victim. This group of conventional rules teaches us that the degree to which a Ghanaian abides by them is an indicator of how cultured he is.
Therefore one is considered “cultured’’ when one is able to temper an insult in a manner that it would not be received in its full hurtful brunt. A person practising such conventional rules may be referred to in Fanti as Nenyiwa ebue literally “his eyes are open’’. In short, the person is cultured. He or she recognises how to manage insults in such a way that it may not cut too deep.
Insult classification
To this end, studies in traditional etiquette recognise a three-type classification of insults according to the weight they carry or how seriously they may be received. First is the abusive word or gesture used. The simpler the words of the insult, the lighter it may be received. Woyɛ aboa (you are a beast), for example, is simple and straight forward and it may not cut too deep. In fact on a daily basis, taxi and trotro drivers in the city trade these insults with other road users without too much fuss.
But when the same Woyɛ aboa is extended to Woye aponkye (you are a goat), it takes a more loaded meaning and effect. If the receiver of such an insult considers the characteristics of a goat to which he is being compared, he is likely to feel more hurt.
As a student, this writer and his classmates were often insulted by our class teacher whenever we were naughty. He would refer to us as amokua and we would laugh over it and scamper off. Much later in life when we learnt what really amokua was, the squirrel type of rodent which, when confronted by the sight of a female, would be so much on heat that it would collapse, we somehow felt the full import of that insult ... in retrospect.
The second classification of insults takes into consideration who is insulting who. For example, when an adult insults a child, it may be taken lightly but when it is the other way round, a child insulting an adult, it is almost taboo. Another example in this class of insults relates to gender. Traditionally, a man insulting a woman may not be taken as seriously as a woman insulting a man. “Why not, why not’’, one can almost hear young women protesting. But that is the name of the game.
Indeed, in Asante tradition, it is a no-no for a woman to insult a man with a simple word as kwasea (fool), no matter the misbehaviour or irresponsibility the man may have demonstrated. Yense barima kwasea, the rule says.
Ugly body parts
The third set of insults may be described as a basket of undesirables. These come in two forms - physical and behavioural. Almost every person has a physical part of his body that he wishes was not that ugly. An unusually big head, knock-knees, lost teeth, protruding mouth, flat nose and other not so good looking physical attributes are things one wishes no one would take notice of.
So when such undesirable body parts are used to insult the same people who would prefer otherwise, the insult is taken with considerable hurt. Waso sɛ kɛtɛ (your ears are as broad as a sleeping mat), for example, would not be taken kindly by a person who knows very well that he has got such broad ears. A significant caution to give at this point is that physical deformities arising out of sickness or accidents are excluded from being the source of such insults.
The other part of undesirables relate to non-physical features such as behaviours that are not complimentary to the status of the person being insulted. For example, a lazy man who is unable to adequately care for his children, a woman who cannot hold on to her marriage and goes through divorce after divorce, or a man who cannot stay away from alcohol.
Depending on a particular society’s expectations, such insults related to undesirable behaviours may denigrate into expressions of malicious pity or even derision. For example in the quarrel between Fosuwa and Hannah in Joe de Graft’s Sons and Daughters, Fosuwa says, “Do you call yourself a woman? Have you ever worn beads in your life? Beads become a measurement of one’s womanliness here.
Recently, the issue of insults in public has taken considerable space in the media following the frustrations of many people over dumsor, the current energy crisis that Ghana is going through. Outspoken actresses, Lydia Forson and Yvonne Nelson, as well as popular musician, Sarkodie, and other celebrities have come out to chastise the leaders of the nation for their poor management of the crisis.
Lydia Forson
Lydia Forson’s outpourings have particularly been subjected to various interpretations. While one section of the society see her expression as an insult to the president of the nation, another section contends that she is very correct in her say-it-as-it-is letter to the president.
Without attempting to go into the merits of the argument, one can discern a certain trend of generational change born out of socialisation and the use of the English language as a primary mode of communication among the youth. It has been noted that it is easier to use an abusive word in English and get away with it than if it is in a local language.
While an upset child may say to his father, ‘’Daddy, please don’t be silly’’ and move on without a hint of an insult, let someone ask the same child to translate what he had just said into vernacular and he may find it difficult to mouth it. Paapa, mepa wo kyɛ w, ma nnyɛ nkwaseadze. Really?
This is exactly where one cannot help but admire musician Sarkodie, who in his latest rap song in Akan about dumsor starts off by saying: Nyame mma me akoma na menka no obuo mu, loosely translated as “may God grant me the humility to say it right.’’ Then he goes off to chastise the leadership of his country.
Interestingly, Sarkodie is not the first musician in Ghana to have used his music to criticise the government although his, like his colleagues A-Plus, Barima Sidney and Guru, turns out to be more direct and more stinging. Decades ago, Nana Kwame Ampadu’s Ebi Te Yie; Pat Thomas’ Nyimpa Rebrɛ; Ampofo Agyei’s Woyɛ Papa a, Woyɛ Fa and others were somehow seen by the general public as critique of the government’s lower-than-expected management of affairs although, owing to the existing rather insecure political atmosphere at the time, they could not come out openly to say so.
Circumstances are different now and the freedom that Ghana enjoys has enabled people to ‘’free their minds’’ and say what they want to. And this is exactly why one needs to strike a fine balance between one’s wish to say what one has to say and traditional etiquette which acts as a social barometer over who is cultured and who is not. To be described as a person who has an acerbic tongue (Nano yɛ ya) has never been a compliment.
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