Dying matters and the bizarre requests
At some point I used to think that it was only us in Ghana and to a large extent Africans, who tended to be fussy about the dead and the way we send them off. We often make references to simple funerals that operate in other continents and how we could learn from such simplicities.
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What we probably do not know, however, is that in those same communities, people are said to be handing shopping lists to funeral directors to bury them with. Probably like us, they also believe that separation by death means embarking on a journey to the other world and therefore the need to carry some favourite items for immediate use.
It is clearly obvious then that the belief in life after death and the continuation of that life elsewhere in another world is not peculiar to Africans after all. In the Akan tradition in Ghana for example, families bury their dead with basic items like clothing, jewellery, hankies and money for the journey into the next world. Other burial items differ from family to family.
I see designer coffins, however, as the simple answer to all the fuss. When a couple of years ago I visited some specialised coffin makers in the Teshie and Nungua suburbs of Accra, I realised that indirectly, those coffin makers were helping to accomplish some of the wishes of the dead by providing them with coffins that said it all about the stories of their lives.
The fisherman or the fishmonger’s coffin that I saw was made in the shape of a fish, presumably to save anyone being buried with a fishing net or any of the accoutrements of the trade when they are laid to rest.
During that visit, I discovered that coffins for priests were made in the shape of the Bible while that of the drinks distributor was modelled in a beer or coke bottle shape. The journalist was not left out. Their coffins were designed in the shape of either a pen or a writing pad.
They also had coffins designed in the shape of mobile phones for mobile phone operators. In effect, therefore, when the time came for one ‘to go’, the journey looked simplified by the type of coffin one was laid in.
Death, no doubt, has been demystified with time. Surprisingly, it has come to be accepted and people are preparing for it just as we prepare for the birth of a baby. Gone were the days when to even write down one’s last wishes was considered an abomination. Writing one’s will was seen as wishing for one’s death.
With the confusion created in families by relatives dying intestate, people are beginning to write their last testaments these days for the sake of peace, though sometimes unwillingly. So, as we come to accept death as inevitable and no respecter of age, people are going beyond writing their wills to actually plan properly for the journey too.
Interestingly, the belief that not only Africans bury their dead with a list of items to carry to life yonder was confirmed by a news item I read from a British newspaper quite recently. A revealing survey conducted by a British charity, Dying Matters, gave an insight into people’s beliefs as far as being laid to rest is concerned.
According to the poll, funeral requests are becoming increasingly bizarre as more people now feel at ease when discussing their own deaths. But not only are people planning their funerals and making sure that they leave enough money to cover their funeral expenses, they are also planning the kind of things they should be laid to rest with.
Requests being made to funeral directors, according to the survey carried out by the charity, include items such as tea bags, conkers and packets of cigarettes. Boy, people would want to continue to enjoy their cups of tea even in the other world? Seriously speaking, much as the Ghanaian loves his or her fufu or kenkey, I am yet to hear anyone who has been buried with the fufu pounding stuff or the kenkey making items.
The British survey also revealed that some common wish among the people they surveyed was to be buried with their pets. However, according to the news report, no funeral director had carried out this wish yet.
Being laid to rest with tea bags, cigarettes, laptops, iPads and iPhones in these days of technology obsession may not be out of place but to be buried with a live cat, a dog or a monkey as people’s companions seem to me a bit barbaric especially in a society where animal rights are almost at par with human rights.
Death has now universally become accepted as part of life. All myths have been broken and people are busy making plans for their departure and waiting to be called to board the flight that would take us to the other world. Bizarre or not bizarre, that is how separation by death is looking like.
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