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The boomerang called revenge
One day, he broke into the house and shot dead all their three children. He was arrested and given a life sentence. However, due to ill health and other technical reasons he was given parole after 10 years.
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When this ex-convict died some one year later, his ex-wife attended the funeral. As she filed past the body, she pulled a pistol and shot it three times, apparently a shot for every child the husband murdered. She felt it was good payback but later she confessed that she had been haunted ever since.
There is also the story of a woman who caught her man sleeping with her best friend who was her maid of honour. She was bitter and went to sleep with her husband’s best friend who was also his best man. The Nigerians say ‘you do me I do you, God no go vex’.
Why revenge?
Today, many nations, societies and families are at war and will strike back at the least provocation. Many live by the principle ‘you do me I do you’ and hit back when offended. This is because human nature is selfish and competitive. The heart of man is wicked and full of evil.
We war within ourselves and want to protect ourselves and achieve our goals. Many are unable to deal with the realities of relationships that conflicts and hurt are inevitable. Therefore, when we feel hurt, ignored, cheated, abused or embarrassed, we are tempted to pay back to show we are strong.
Some also enter into relationships with emotional baggage. They feel they may fail again and think the best way of defence is to attack at the least sign of provocation. By doing this, they attempt to heal their past emotional pains.
Some ways of revenge
Some lovers ignore their partners and develop negative confirmation that a lover cannot do anything well. Some withhold their responsibilities; a man may refuse to give ‘chop money’ while some women use sex as a weapon. They sleep in ‘khaki trousers’ to prevent their men from getting close to them.
Some partners shift their attention to their personal interest. A man may focus on his work, leave home early in the morning and get back late. While a woman is proficient in words and may nag at her man, a man who is stronger may be physical with her woman. Many spouses get into infidelity to pay back the harm done them by their spouses.
In all cases of revenge, communication breaks down and partners become intolerant, critical, irritable and abusive just to get even on harm done to them.
Effect of revenge
Revenge is a powerful emotion that may lead you to show bitterness, irritability and aggression and hit back in many ways. Initially, revenge may make you feel powerful, justified and satisfied. You feel vindicated to see your offender suffer for the harm done to you but soon revenge gives you a feeling of disappointment, sadness and guilt. It puts you in a prison you have built for yourself and ties you more to your past emotional pain. You hurt yourself more than anyone else.
Revenge is, therefore, never sweet because it never solves a problem. It is the problem because its effects far outweigh the momentary satisfaction. Two wrongs never make right.
Psychologists assert that revenge takes so much energy that the human body can’t handle it. God who created and knows us says we must leave revenge to Him. Never play God and do what he says He alone can do. It is only Him who can decide to take revenge on our behalf. Leave the decision to Him.
We must also appreciate that there are at least 37 verses in the Bible that warn us against revenge. These include: Do not pay anyone evil for evil (Romans 12:19). Do not say I will do to him as he has done to me, make sure nobody pays back wrong for wrong and do not repay evil for evil or insult with insult but with blessing.
Revenge is a boomerang
A boomerang consists of two wings connected in one banana-shaped unit. Each wing is shaped like an aerofoil. When thrown, each wing rotates in circular paths and this creates airflow over the wings and this creates lifts on both arms.
When thrown correctly, it turns round and back to its thrower. This is exactly how revenge works. When you take revenge on someone, especially a spouse who is one flesh with you, your actions come back to harm you and even more. Revenge comes back to you at great cost to your physical, emotional and spiritual make-up and may spill over to your family and society. All who draw the sword will die by the sword.
