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Marriage has times of romance  and times of conflict and pain.
Marriage has times of romance and times of conflict and pain.

‘No retreat, no surrender’ for your marriage

Our Maker instituted marriage and by His plan, marriage is meant to be an indissoluble or lifelong journey.


In fact, ‘aware’, the Akan word for marriage, means a long journey. It is about a man and woman leaving their families, cleaving to each other and becoming one flesh. Your journey becomes the product of the times and the circumstances you go through.

The marriage journey has moments of pain, bitterness, frustration and disappointments. The fact, however, is that amid the many challenges, you can have a good journey and enjoy the amazing benefits of marriage.

How to enjoy your journey of marriage

Have a positive mental attitude to win: Nothing good can happen in your marriage or relationship if you do not resolve to win.  You win with your mind. You must therefore take a stand to defy all odds. Make it a point never to quit or settle for less.

Acting alone, you can put a spark into your journey when your lover appears to give up on the way. Be a mentor and keep inspiring your lover, especially during difficult times. You are the only key to your success.

Have a mission and vision: Helen Keller, an American author and disability activist who had visual and hearing impairment, said the only thing worse than blindness was to have sight without a vision.

Have a road map and stay focused on your mission statement. Regularly evaluate your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats as you progress in your journey. Just don’t float in your marriage or relationship because you may be going around in circles for years without making any progress, just as the Israelites spent 40 years in the wilderness making a journey they could have made in a very short time.

Appreciate your differences: You have your strengths and weaknesses. Have a team mindset and use your strengths to support each other in your areas of weakness. Make mutual decisions and watch each other’s back because there may be ‘wild animals’ on the way.

Be good friends who share all areas of your lives because all fulfilling relationships are based on solid friendship. Let your marriage or relationship be your topmost priority and never be too busy for it. Companionship improves your self-image, security, peace of mind and the assurance that you are there for each other.

One may fall but two can defend themselves along the way. Never leave when your partner is weak and needs you most.

Forgive your lover: No matter how much you love each other you will have challenges on your journey, some predictable, others not. Expect them but have the determination and commitment to deal with them.

Resolve your difficulties and use them as opportunities to revitalise your relationship. Forgive each other unconditionally and deep in your heart.

No retreat, No surrender

The Danube River rises over the slopes of Germany’s Black Forest and courses through 10 nations on its way to the Black Sea, some 1,800 miles from the beginning. It goes through very contrasting conditions, including romantic fairways, befouled pollution, fairways and wildlife but it does not stop.

It keeps going to the end. it doesn’t surrender or retreat. Marriage has times of romance and times of conflict and pain. There will be times when you love to move on and times when you want to give up. All marriages and relationships are therefore like Danube River. The difference is your determination to move on.

Be strong and refuse to give up. Brave it out in all situations. Make a way where there is no way; going under, over or through the obstacles of life. Stay focused on your journey and have the resilience to win. Your journey can be happy and exciting.

Marriage is beautiful. If you are thinking of giving up, you could be throwing something wonderful away. Winners never quit and quitters never win (Vince Lombardi).  Therefore never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about it. (Winston Churchill).

Develop the motto of my people, the Kwahus, or ‘case aban’ who say ‘yente gyae’ (we know no stopping) or one of our local football teams; ‘yenko nkoaa’ or let us keep going.

Again the premier football club, now 108 years, had made it this far because its motto, Never Say Die, motivated them to keep going irrespective of their challenges. Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time (Thomas Edison). Always remember that successful men and women keep moving.

They make mistakes but they don’t quit. (Conrad Hilton). Therefore don’t give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. (Harriet Stove). The advice is simple; let there be no stopping, surrender, parking or retreat in your marriage. Never say die until the bones are rotten.

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