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Power play in relationships

BY: Dr John Boakye

Power is sweet to both men and women. With power, you are the dominant factor. You call the shots and get what you want, how and when. You boost your self-esteem and feel on top of the world.

No doubt an Akan axiom says if you hear power is for sale sell your mother to buy it because later you can use your power to buy her back. This may explain why some politicians use bribery, manipulations, cheap propaganda and occults to win elections.

Our love for power does not stop when we get into relationships. We use what we have to get what we want. Many partners get into power struggle to vent, control, revenge and insist on their rights. They want to find out who is more powerful.

The power of man
Man is born competitive and therefore loves power because it gives him a sense of emotional fulfilment as he solves problems, guides, protects and controls his woman. For a man, power shows competence and efficiency. A man therefore loves his power over his woman.

A man has the power to love a woman in ways she has never been loved. At the same time a man has the power to hurt a woman such that she hates herself and all men. A man has the power to look at a woman and tell her he loves her more than any other person. He may fall in love suddenly but he has the power to sleep with her closest friend. A man can therefore make a woman laugh or weep, feel wanted or rejected and lonely.

A man has power to control his emotions. What he says or does with a woman may be completely different from what he thinks. He has the power to help a woman live her dreams and at the same time manipulate a woman to live his dreams.

The power of woman
A woman’s perception of power is defined by her sexuality. She knows by instinct that she is powerful because she can use sex to control a man since sex is his weakest spot. A woman’s ability to grant or withhold sex is the centre of her power.

A woman knows by instinct you need her. She creates illusions on your mind and makes you think you can get her if you show you are a man. She has the power to surgically remove a man’s brain and relocate it in his genitals.

At this point a man will do anything to prove himself. Interestingly studies show any woman using the right tactics at the right time and place can overcome any man. Today we hear of very popular politicians, doctors, engineers and businessmen pleading with their house helps to get the green light. Some become pregnant and promote themselves to ‘madams’. Some men kneel down before their women or carry them on their backs before they get the green light.

No man is exempt from the charm of a woman. For example Jim Baker and Jimmy Swarggard at one time had the fastest growing charismatic churches in the world. Jim was felled by his secretary and Jimmy by a prostitute.

In the Greek comedy ‘Lysistrata’, we read of an intensive war with heavy casualties. When nothing could stop the war, the women decided to show that power stops with them. They decided to stop the war simply by resolving to deny their men access to the ‘strong room’ until the fighting stopped.
The war stopped overnight! ‘who say man no dey?’ If you think man is the head appreciate at the same time that a woman is the neck which can turn the head anywhere and anyhow it wants to !

Who is more powerful?
A man needs the power of a woman and a woman needs the power of a man. The power of men would mean anything without women and the power of women would be useless without the power of men.

Power in relationships can however be good or bad because it can be used positively or negatively. It can therefore be a sanctuary of love or battlefield.

The more powerful lover is the lover who uses his or her power wisely. He or she channels his or her power through the sacrifices he or she makes to build his or her lover and hence the relationship. If you misuse your power to control, manipulate and abuse your power, you may destroy your lover’s self-esteem and hence his or her will to love and to be loved. You lose and destroy the beauty of love.

Resolve to be the more powerful lover by the sacrifices and care you show to nurture your relationship through thick and thin.

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