IN the past many wives were homemakers. They stayed at home to take care of the home and family while their husbands worked to bring in money.
Today, however, with the biting economic pressure and many women acquiring skills, most families can’t afford this luxury of wives staying at home.
The woman must work to contribute to the upkeep of the home. Even in cases where a man can afford everything some women insist on working to meet their life goals.
Many wives and husbands, therefore, leave home and come back very late. Care of children and home becomes a big problem. This is when house helps who are mostly young women come in handy.
Today what is interesting is that these women who come in young, innocent and ignorant about many domestic amenities like water closet, washing machine and gas cooker, depending on environmental factors could evolve into anything you can imagine- smart thieves, dedicated adopted family members and husband snatchers. You must, therefore, know how to handle your house help to get the best out of him or her
Handling house helps
Make a mutual decision: In many cases, the problems of house helps begin even before they go into a family home. A man may not want it but a woman may want it. The house help then becomes an innocent victim of disagreement between the couple.
It is also important for you to agree on the terms of the stay. Talk about the length of stay and conditions of service. You must take your house help as your own child and give him or her conditions that ensure his or her basic rights and privileges like good food, medication and decent accommodation.
Train your house help: Many house helps come in completely ignorant of the facilities in a modern home. Teach them what you want them to do, how to relate to people, especially your children. Ensure that you do not put all the responsibility of the home on their shoulders.
Your children must help in the house chores. Today, there are many people who cannot cook, wash or take care of the home because they had house helps to do everything for them. This comes at great cost to their marriages.
Show love and understanding: Most house helps are adolescents. They engage in self-scrutiny and think everybody is watching them. They also tend to take risky decision because they think they are invulnerable. They have feeling of exaggerated importance and may act contrary to the norms and values of the family they are staying with. They are easily attracted to the opposite sex. Make it easy for your house help to talk to you.
Create privacy for your marriage: It is not healthy for a female house help to cook for your husband, wash his panties, bed spread and iron them. She may end up warming the matrimonial bed as well.
A wife must put the focus on herself: Be loving and attractive to your husband, instead of dressing your house help poorly or maltreating her so that she does not attract your husband. You must also make time for your husband and respect him. If you disrespect your husband and leave everything your husband needs in the care of your house help, you break down your man’s ego. He attempts to restore it by going in for someone who respects him and takes care of his needs. Time and space make the house help a prospective candidate for a sit-in wife
Are house helps on warpath to snatch husbands?
Some house helps have been so good that the family they stay with keep them for life. In many cases when house helps leave to marry, the ‘madam’ sponsors the marriage rites and the house helps keep strong bonds with ‘madam’ and family members for life.
Some are, however, on a warpath and may take over marriage. For example, many years ago, a very popular lady politician left her matrimonial home. It came to light that she was too busy to have time for her husband and the home. She did not respect her husband and always nagged at him. She was very cruel to the house help and often called her a witch because she thought the house help was responsible for anything that did not go well in her personal life.
It was when the house help got pregnant by her husband that she regretted and admitted she has put her husband in the hands of a house help. The lecturer married the young woman and claimed it was the best thing that happened to him.
Some ‘madams’ are too busy for their marriage. They leave the cooking, washing and house care entirely to the house help unaware that if a house help is ironing a man’s bed sheet, she could warm herself on it.
A woman knows by instinct when a man is most vulnerable to sexual advances and sadly some studies suggest it takes only 90 seconds for a man to be aroused. Again sadly when a man gets aroused his brain moves from his head and relocates between his legs. He can’t think again and everything must wait till he is done. Today, with events on social media and a degenerating society, many house helps are on the warpath to snatch marriages and some have succeeded.
House helps are, therefore, neutral agents. It is how you deal with them that determines the health of your marriage. If you maltreat your house help, she could take over your marriage, abuse your children or cause you irreparable damage. However, with the attitude of understanding, love and care you can use your house help to build your family.