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Count your blessings

BY: Dr John Boakye

At the start of a new year, it is healthy to take a close look at your marriage or relationship. Look at your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats so that you can draw better options for the year for a fruitful, passionate and fulfilling relationship. 

As you reflect on your relationship there is one thing you must do if you ever expect any good results for the New Year; count your blessings in your marriage or relationship.

Your difficult times

Today marriages and relationships have become a battlefield with so many casualties; even in marriages in which partners are expected to share their lives for life, only one in five works.

 Sharing your life, dreams, values and aspirations with someone who is uniquely different is difficult but remember that conflicts are part of life and all relationships.

All partners in relationships have their fair share of conflicts. If Abraham whom God called a friend and David whom God said he was a man after His heart had conflicts in their marriages, you will have yours. Therefore, the fact that you have conflicts does not mean your relationship is bad; it means you are human and in a relationship!

Angels do not marry or get into relationships; imperfect human beings do and conflicts become part of all relationships or marriages. It is, therefore, impossible to stay in a relationship without conflicts.

You must, therefore, never quit your relationship because of the challenges you face. Instead, see your challenges as neural agents; it is what you do with your conflicts that determines the health of your relationship. If you handle your conflicts well, your relationship grows and matures.

See the challenges as opportunities for growth as you resolve your conflicts and forgive each other. See them as trials by fire, which purifies the gold in you. If you never have problems in your marriage or relationship you will be less human and incapable of showing and receiving love.

For this reason, do not give up because of the challenges you face. Instead, count the challenges you face as blessings because they have contributed to make you what you are today. Always remember that everything God allows to come our way is always with a purpose. He uses even the deepest error and deepest pain to mold us into better people.

 Your happy times

 Marriage is the greatest gift of our maker and the most important human investment with many amazing benefits. Studies show married partners live longer than singles. They are more productive and richer. They are less prone to diseases, depression and substance abuse. Marriage provides the best environment for your children to grow holistically. It also provides companionship, support and a more fulfiling and passionate sexual expression. You will not see these benefits unless you start counting your blessings in your marriage.

Count your blessings in your marriage and thank your maker for this wonderful gift and the fact that He has counted worthy to call you into His vocation of marriage. List the big and small things in your marriage.

Think of the meals you shared, the social activities and your sexual escapades. List the progress you have made and the support you give each other. Count your blessings for the spirituality you build. Recall the joy and excitement the children bring to you as parents.

List the small things and count them as blessings because sometimes it is the small things like the humour, friendship, words of affirmation, acts of service and small gifts that make a difference in your marriage.

List the love messages and the songs you sing. List the visitors you had and how you hosted them. List the romantic walks and drinks you had. You find the more you count as blessings the more you find to count to receive more blessings. Everything big and small that you appreciate in your marriage will bring benefits to you. They are the blessings. Therefore, keep counting them to receive more blessings.

                                                      

Count your blessings and name them

See your marriage as good and expect good things because nothing good will happen in your marriage except what you expect and feel. Always give thanks for your marriage. Each day, believe God loves you and has good plans for your marriage. He gives you what is best for his good plans for your marriage. You must, therefore, thank God for the gift of your marriage and partner. See your spouse as your Maker’s greatest gift to you and count the blessings in what you share in your life.

Count everything that happens in your marriage as blessings. It does not mean you deny your problems but never allow the challenges you face in your marriage to prevent you from enjoying the beauty of your marriage. At the end of a tunnel, you will see light and see the darkness as a channel to blessings.

Studies show counting your blessings give higher levels of positive emotions, life satisfaction, vitality and optimism; it gives a higher capacity for compassion and good progress in important goals. The good news is that we all have blessings that make marriage worthwhile and this is the best time to being them to light. 

Therefore, each day, count your blessings in your marriage. List them one by one and you will be surprised what God has done for you and have taken for granted. You will then have no option but to keep counting your blessings.

From the fullness of God’s grace may you receive one blessing after another in your marriage. Always remember the more you count your blessings the more you receive to count them as blessings.

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