7 Nicknames to give your partner that will make everyone else cringe
When we become romantically involved with someone, his or her name usually goes out the window in the first few months and hardly ever returns.
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One of the most dangerous facets of calling each other ‘honey’ is that it puts your mind in a nonsexual place throughout the day. Then in the evenings or whenever a sexual moment may arise, it is very difficult to get out of the ‘honey’ mind-set.
I know that changing our habits of pet nicknames for our partners is not going to happen overnight — we’ve been using them forever. I am asking for the sake of my comfort and likely others’, too, that you at least let go of using any of these seven pet nicknames.
1. Schmoopy
When I hear this name, I picture calling this out to one of your five cats who greets you when you get home from work. It seems best-fitted for a fluffy white cat who likes to eat his canned food slightly above room temperature and never in a dirty dish — not something you would call your romantic, human partner.
2. Baby Doll
You don’t get any less romantic than being compared to both a baby and a child’s toy, right? It’s one that I can see someone using for their girlfriend back in the sixth grade when all you do is hold hands when the teacher isn’t looking at recess. Not something you should call your grown, adult partner.
3. Prince / Princess
I mean, you know that’s a lot of pressure to live up to in a nickname.
4. Ball & Chain
The equally annoying and uncomfortable nickname is the one that plays on how much you kinda can’t stand your partner. I know that marriage or being in a committed relationship has its downfalls (like having to share the TV remote), but we don’t want to hear about it like that. I am never sure whether to look sad or smile when someone says “oh that was just the ball and chain calling,” so I usually just end up with an awkward laugh combination.
5. Boo-Boo
This is what we call that bruise that’s left from when you stubbed your pinky toe walking to get your 5-month-old baby out of bed when he decided to wake up at 4 a.m. It’s not what you call your romantic partner who you were just about to be intimate with before your baby started crying.
6. Honey (or Hun)
Just as the authors of the book Stop Calling Him Honey suggest, this name is used for what feels like everyone in a relationship. If you’re going to use a pet name for your partner, at least be more creative! If you were to call this out across the aisle at the grocery store asking your partner to double-check the list — you’re going to turn a few heads because inevitably there will be another “Honey” in earshot.
7. Love Muffin
This just screams “gross” to me, and I am not sure what it means or where it came from, but honestly it can go away now. It’s super cute but makes no sense other than if you’re trying to make everyone uncomfortable — ’cause it works doing that!