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Be content with your lover because you can never have it all in any relationship
Be content with your lover because you can never have it all in any relationship
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Are you satisfied in your relationship?

Human nature is negatively bias, selfish and competitive.

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We tend to put the focus on ourselves – what we want, when and how we want it. 

We look more at what is not working in our relationship and tend to ignore the many good things in our relationships. Most of us are therefore never satisfied with what we want and struggle for more irrespective of how it comes because we think the world begins and ends with us.

The problem is compounded in our materialistic world where you are known by what you have. Many are therefore losing the virtue of contentment and the grace of being satisfied with what God has done for them.

Imagine a woman who planned leaving her man because he did not make enough time for her. Fact, however, is that the man’s work is very time consuming and stressful. He is honest and faithful.

He gives her all she needs to make life comfortable – lots of money and gifts, trips abroad, a comfortable home and romantic moments anytime he has ample time. It was during counselling that she realised she had a lot to be grateful for.

To be content doesn’t mean you don’t desire more. It means you are thankful to your Maker for what you have and patient for what is to come. It comes from acceptance of life. 
A contented heart is a calm sea in the midst of all storms. 

The danger of discontentment

A discontented lover sees everything around him or her through dark lens. You are never satisfied with what you have in your relationship. Positive events are played down and minor discomforts are projected highly. This may make you think your lover is not good enough for you.

A discontented partner walks on rough diamonds and fails to see good opportunities in small things right under his or her nose. You lose when it is more difficult to fail than to win.

Discontentment is a germ in every aspect of life – work, friends and especially marriage. This means if one partner is discontented, he infects the other.

Spouses live in bitterness, frustration, selfishness, hostility and unforgiving spirit. It could be the beginning to an end of a relationship.                                            

Finding contentment

You cannot find contentment in your lover or any material possession because it comes from within you. You only have to tap into God’s grace in your life as you count your blessings and name them one by one.

The first step to finding contentment is to see yourself and lover as good. If you do not love yourself nothing good happens in your relationship. On the other hand contentment brings self-love and peace which motivate you to commit fully to your marriage.

Have realistic expectation: There are no perfect people and therefore no perfect relationships.  You have different thoughts, values and sexualities. Therefore, no matter how much you love each other, you will have your challenges.

You cannot live happily after or always have all your needs met because marriage is a vocation, a call by God to serve Him by what you do for your spouse. Each day show honesty, appreciation, generosity, self-control and a forgiving spirit. A contented partner expects challenges but counts them as pure joy.

Avoid unhealthy comparisons:  See your lover as the best person for your life. The field may not be greener outside. A relationship you presume to be good may actually be worse than yours. You must therefore focus on yours and be committed to nurturing it. If you see your relationship as good, you make no room for failure.

Be satisfied with your financial status: A contented partner accepts there is never enough money and therefore money challenges are real in all marriages. Money can make you miserable.

You must therefore keep your mind free from the love of money because whoever loves money never has enough. A man’s life does not consist of abundance of possessions. This means money will not bring contentment. Work hard and be content with what you earn: We are at different economic levels and some are richer than you. The important thing is

not to put your trust in money because it will corrupt your mind and negatively affect your outlook to life including your marriage. Money may give you a house but not a home, a wife but not a spouse and security but not peace of mind. 

Cont

For a relationship to be successful, it is important both spouses find contentment within themselves. For example, in a study done in United States of America, 80 per cent of respondents indicated that the secret to their marriage is mutual contentment.

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You must therefore stop grumbling and desire a rich relationship but not riches. You can be happy in your relationship even when you are not rich. If you are happy in your relationship, you are rich. Better a little with the fear of the Lord than great worth in turmoil.

Goodness with contentment is a great gain. If you have sufficient food, shelter and clothing, be content with what God has given you. If you count your blessings and name them one by one you will be amazed what the Lord has done for you. God knows your needs and has promised never to leave you or forsake you.

Learn to abound and abase, in good and bad times. Never make room for bitterness, frustration, selfishness, withdrawal and unforgiving spirit.A grateful heart attracts riches and blessings from God.

Be content with your lover because you can never have it all in any relationship. Be happy for what you have. Love your lover and relationship as you find them.  In everything including your relationship, give thanks to your Maker.

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