You aren’t a bad person for having impulses, for having desires, for thinking bad thoughts, or for wanting bad things. You really can’t help what you want or think.
What you can, however, help is whether or not you act on those desires. Our desires are what make us animals; our control over them is what makes us human. That being said, it’s much easier to control a desire or impulse if you spot it coming early on.
There is no excuse for cheating, but I will say that, the people who do cheat, usually didn’t go from zero to one hundred. They acted on one small impulse, then a bigger one, and then the biggest (worst) one.
They simply didn’t see the signs early enough to stop it. Here are signs you’re about to cheat. If you see them, it’s time to have a talk with your partner.
You don’t want to go home at night
When you’re out and about, away from your partner, you don’t want to go home to him. You stall. You find every reason to stay out later—perhaps to stay out chatting with someone else. You ignore your phone, because you don’t want to face your partner’s texts asking when you’re coming home.
You put on extra makeup for someone else
When you know you’re going to see a certain someone who is not your partner, you put on extra makeup. You put in extra effort with your hair. You make sure your outfit shows off your best assets. You don’t, however, do any of that for your partner.
You always want date night out
If your partner wants date night, you push to go out. Being at home, alone, with him isn’t exciting anymore. You want to be out so you can at least get attention from other men.
You’re checking someone else’s social media
You find yourself checking someone’s social media several times a day and that someone isn’t your partner. You may or may not go to the bars or restaurants you see he’s checked into.
You’re finding fault in everything your partner does
You’re subconsciously tearing your partner apart, and even outwardly. You’re constantly finding fault with his behavior, appearance, actions, personality, and everything. It’s your indirect way of justifying your desire to cheat.
You’re having daydreams about someone else
You can’t control the dreams you have at night but daydreams, well, those are really just our truest thoughts and desires exposed. And you’ve been daydreaming about someone besides your partner.
You notice who likes your selfies
When you post a selfie, you check who liked it. You’re looking for a certain someone’s thumbs up—a certain someone who isn’t your partner.
You don’t spurn other men’s advances
When other men hit on you, and say things that make it very clear they’d like to go home with you at the end of the night, you don’t tell them you’re in a relationship. And you don’t tell them to go away.
You don’t put a stop to inappropriate messages
You also don’t put a stop to inappropriate direct messages or text message. You may not initiate those conversations or say anything to encourage them, but you also don’t actively stop them.
You’re always comparing
In your head, you’re constantly comparing your partner to somebody else. And, he never stands up to the other person in your opinion
Your partner shouldn’t see your texts
If you truly, honestly answered the question, “How would my partner feel if he saw my texts with this other guy?” the answer wouldn’t be pretty.
You stop another guy from dating someone else
You’ve gone out of your way to stop another guy (that you’re crushing on) from going out with or hooking up with someone else. You’ve said he deserves better—then the “better” person you described sounded alarmingly like you.
You make up reasons to see someone else
You make up reasons to see another guy. You pretend you absolutely have to take this particular 10am workout class (when really, you don’t like that class, or could’ve taken a later one) because you know he’ll be there.
You talk to your friends about someone else
When you go on and on about a guy to your friends, it isn’t your partner. It’s someone else. In fact, they’ve mentioned that it seems like you almost like that other person.
You feel electric around someone else
You feel electricity around this person. When you talk to him, your body magically moves closer to him. Your face becomes flushed. You feel you have little control over your words or actions in his presence.