Willing to die for your sweetheart?
A South Korean woman is reported to have sang over 900 songs for 60 hours with only 10 minutes rest hourly.
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She must have known it was a risky venture. In fact, she collapsed in exhaustion. She was however very happy she did it just to cheer up her sick husband. There is also the story of a couple, a Ghanaian husband and his white American wife who were involved in a car accident on a bridge in Ghana.
The man was thrown out of the car into a river. His wife jumped into the river in an attempt to save him. Both got drowned.
Compare the above stories with a study this writer made by asking 20 young Ghanaian wives if they would hold a joint account with their husbands. Only two or 10 per cent of the respondents were prepared to do so.
Will you die for your sweetheart?
We make the question easier by explaining that to die in this context is derived from a Jewish word and tradition which means to give strength to someone in the most difficult of situations without expecting a reward. We die for our lovers when we see a great need in them and see ourselves as only privileged to meet our lovers’ needs without conditions attached.
This true love is not based on our emotions or how our lovers treat us. Instead, it is about pouring out our heart in all we do for our lovers unconditionally and permanently for your lover no matter how unbearable our lovers may treat us.
Why die for a sweetheart?
When we get into a relationship, we are required to give love, support and companionship to our lovers. We pick up the slack where our lovers fall short so that we give strength to them but not to seek gain.
Through our actions, words and attitude, we must be determined always to help our lovers reach their full potential. This is our maker’s command to fulfil as we treat our lovers how we want to be treated.
With this mental attitude we develop the greatest power in man that can lift our relationship even through difficult times. The sacrifices we make for our lovers make them better for us to enjoy happier and more fulfilling relationships.
Jesus model of dying for a sweetheart
Christians celebrate the death of a Man who hated sin but loved sinners to the point of freely dying physically for all men even when he was rejected, falsely accused, taunted, abused and tortured. He prayed for forgiveness for all and thus established a pattern of forgiveness.
Jesus is a good role model. We can and should freely die for our lovers even when they abuse and maltreat us. We should develop the positive mental attitude to say, as the old highlife song “medo wo senea wo te yi ara ”( l love you unconditionally).
How to die for your sweetheart
Renew our minds: We must appreciate that all relationships are difficult because we are human. Hurts, failures and disappointment are real in all relationships and we must not hold on to unrealistic expectations from our lovers.
Deciding to forgive is difficult but it gives emotional health and spiritual healing. There is no wound in your relationship you can’t heal if you choose to forgive. Forgiveness therefore is key to a happy relationship because negative attitudes will hold you prisoner in a concentration camp of your own making.
Choose freedom: A forgiving spirit will open your eyes to the beauty of true love. We must therefore be prepared to leave the past and start with new hope as we let go our negative attitudes in our relationships. We must forgive and forget completely because our maker commands us to do so.
Change our behaviour and stop what causes hurt: These may include dishonesty, selfishness, intolerance, inequality, incompatibility, unrealistic expectations and poor communication, disrespect and lack of appreciation. You may have to give up what you consider to be important to you. That is what we do when we die for our lovers.
Appreciate that in a true relationship we are expected to act as one. We die to ourselves as we honestly and completely share all areas of our lives – time, finance, hopes, aspirations and challenges. In relationships, we change our language from ‘me and mine’ to ‘we and ours’.
Die for your sweetheart today and always
At this time and age when selfishness, pride, vindictiveness are rife and lovers are murdering, suppressing, abusing and leaving each other, choose to be better by dying for your lover.
Nothing strengthens a relationship better because with that positive mental attitude, you can keep your relationship going even when the emotional love is gone. Die by giving instead of taking. Be there always to give strength and hope. Die by giving up habits if that makes your lover better. Die by changing your language from ‘I and Me’ to ‘we and us’.
Die by doing all it takes to make your relationship happy and fulfilling even when your lover appears ungrateful and unloving.
Research has shown clearly that the greater the sacrifices we make for our lovers, the greater the potential for a happy and fulfilling relationship because we can withstand any stress, weather any storm and stand tall in the darkest hours as they die for each other.
Die for your lover today and always, so that you can enjoy amazing benefits of true love.
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