Are we walking on the same path?

”Can two walk together except they are in agreement?’’ ~Amos 3:3

Two people decide to embark on a journey together to the same destination. They walk down the road enjoying the scenery together. Along the course of the journey, they come to a crossroad.

Following the original plan, there is to be no turning to either left or right but to continue going straight.
However, one person decides at the crossroad that they want to turn left. Can they journey together? Of course not.

What happened to the goal? The dream? What happened as they were going down the road? Was there a change of mind? You see, the point I am trying to make is that two people cannot walk to a destination together, if they are going to take different routes. Eventually, they might get there but certainly not together.

Openness is so important in any relationship. Yet so often, it is an ingredient that is lacking. The lack of it can bring about confusion, misunderstanding, anger and resentment. Clearly people come together for different reasons.

But most often they are drawn to each other because they discover they have similar interests. Similar interests become the common ground to start a relationship. But sometimes along the journey, paths diverge.

Today I am continuing on the subject of openness. Last week, I talked about the importance of being open when it came to issues of your health. I mentioned that openness was essential in building any level of communication in relationships.

Let’s be honest, relationships are not always easy. But they are part of everyday life and a necessary part of healthy living. From acquaintances, colleagues, friends, relatives to marriage, relationships are all around us.

And as much as relationships have the potential to enrich our lives, when not working well, it can also negatively affect our health and well-being.

Poor communication is a big problem in many relationships. Anytime people stop communicating well, they stop relating well. Poor communication can take many forms but I want to look at lack of openness.

I am often surprised about how often people find out when they are very close to marriage that they are not on the same page when it comes to so many things. Some talks are important before you get to the ‘I do’ stage.

Talk openly about your religious beliefs, career aspirations, goals, finances and other things that are important to you. The sooner in the relationship you talk about the things that are important to you, the sooner you can identify and hopefully solve any future problems that could arise. And how you handle it can drastically alter the course of your life.

We all want different things in life and most of us know what we want. One of the worst mistakes is not fully communicating openly about the issues that are important to you. Is that other person going to complement you or detract from you?

Of course you will never be able to talk about everything under the sun, so along the way you might have a few surprises. I know that from personal experience. But to be totally clueless is not a nice position to be in.
Anyway, that is a whole different topic on its own.

From my discussion, it may seem like being open is only relevant to those who are thinking of walking down the road of marriage, but it applies in every other relationship. For two people to continue on the same path, they have to know what they both want and expect the same thing.

Being open gives the other person a chance to decide if they want to continue on the journey or not or perhaps if you could both agree to take a different route to the same destination. Talk, talk, talk and don’t stop talking.

Oh and while talking, remember that you also need to talk about any area of challenge. That’s right! It is often very easy to talk about our strengths. Who wants to talk about their weakness or any personal challenges anyway? It’s hard. I know that.

But let’s be realistic, we all have areas of challenge. At some point in any relationship, you need to divulge some information that is not easy to talk about. Anything that can significantly affect your life needs to be dealt with.

Think of it this way — if you don’t acknowledge your weaknesses, how can you be helped? And the good thing about talking, especially to someone who can help you, is that it helps to lift the load off your shoulder. You may even find that in talking, you can also find new ways to overcome the area of challenge.

Stop and take a good look at the relationships in your life. How open are you to each other? Unless you communicate, you will never really know if you are headed in the same direction. Ultimately, most changes in direction or roadblocks can be handled as long as you are willing to talk and listen.

Which path are you taking? Are you going to turn left or continue straight ahead? Whichever you choose, I wish you the best in your journey!

By Barbara Sai Djangmah/The Mirror/Ghana

The writer is a Lifestyle Coach & Author of ‘The Seduction of Food’
[email protected]