Good & Healthy Relationship Advice & Tips
Internet love affair
Today, one thing that comes very handy in every area of our lives and human development is the Internet. We use it for different purposes depending on our requirements. In communication, research, education, financial transaction among others, Internet makes things easier and saves us a lot of time. No wonder each day, over two billion out of the world population of 6.76 billion use the Internet.
The huge number of Internet users makes it the biggest love market. Many people, young and old use the Internet to look for partners. There are many sites exclusively for dating. For some, the Internet has been the magic wand for their love journey but for others, it has shattered their love dreams.
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The good of Internet
Internet gives easy and instant communication. You could spend hours chatting in the comfort of your home. It is cheap and you can spend hours chatting. You have the option to have many friends of the opposite sex and gradually get closer where your heart leads you.
Eight years ago, an American born Ghanaian decided to marry from home. He got in touch with a young man in Accra. They talked often and after one year, she came down to Ghana to find that even though her man was poor and didn’t have a high education, he was very honest, kind, hardworking and handsome. Today, they are happily married. Internet was the ‘middle man’
The bad of Internet
You are in a relationship with someone you do not really know. You do not know what your partner does, his or her friends and his or her lifestyle. It could be a gamble.
Today, it is common in Ghana to find a man pretending to be a woman and dating many men abroad. Some paste photos of strangers on their walls and claim they are theirs. There are cases where men hire young women to face the monitor while the men control the keyboard. Their only aim is to dupe unsuspecting prospective lovers. Many things can go wrong.
Two years ago, a young American woman in interstate relationship flew over to meet her lover. That very night, her partner murdered her. She left no information about her trip. Fortunately after some weeks, it was the same Internet that led to her death to trace the killer.
Handling Internet love affair
Start slowly and carefully. At the initial stages, you must avoid providing personal contacts and details of your profile because they could be used to trace and harm you in many ways. Determine how much information you must provide but do this with great care.
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Trust your instincts. It speaks to you when you make contacts. It is, therefore, an important tool to determine how and when to build a relationship or stop. Look for questionable characteristics when you make contacts. Keep cross-checking what your partner tells you by repeating your questions on different occasions. It will give you a fair idea of your partner. You could tell if he or she is hot tempered, controlling, demanding, kind or honest. If you are in doubt, back off.
Plan your first date carefully. Where possible, ask a friend or a family member to check on your partner. When you first meet, ensure that you do this at a good time of the day and at a public place. Do not accept any offers to be picked or dropped off. Watch out for red signals. Your first meeting can tell you a lot about your partner but it is advisable to meet about three times before making an informed decision.
Do Internet love affairs work?
Today, studies show Internet love affairs do not have greater risks than other relationships. Where, how and when you get into a relationship are not important. It is what you do in your relationship that determines the health and future of what happens.
If you go in with a dishonest mind, you lose in the end regardless of the initial fraudulent benefits you may gain. If you go in and show commitment, effective communication and unconditional love, you will find true love through the Internet.
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Keep browsing but with godly intensions. May you meet the desire of your heart on the net.
The writer is the director of Eudoo Counselling Centre, West Legon. He is also the author of ‘Your guide to marriage,Love unlimited and The journey of love’
Email [email protected].