Your words create your relationship
Our DNA, fingerprints, voice, teeth patterns among others confirm that we are unique. We also have different backgrounds, temperaments and most importantly God created us male and female.
However, in our marriages, families, churches and workplaces we are expected to act as one. We do this through communication – sharing our needs, ideas, interests, likes, dislikes and beliefs such that we understand each other.
We do this through speaking, listening, observing and acting. Communication starts when you enter into a relationship and never ends. Even when you refuse to talk to your lover you are communicating!
Effective communication is the heart of all relationships and just as there can be no life without a working heart, you could never have a fulfilling relationship without effective communication.
In fact, effective communication is the single most important indicator of the health of all relations. You can’t walk together unless you agree. (Amos 3:3). Communication can be done verbally or non-verbally.
Power of words
God created us by words. Jesus represented Himself on earth to save us by word. He declared his mission, preached his kingdom and taught his disciples by word.
He created positive atmospheres, stopped storms and healed by words. Words therefore have the power of life and death.
Positive words like ‘thank you’, ‘sorry’, and ‘please’ create positive atmosphere to protect life, prevent trouble, calm anger, provide encouragement, give happiness and heal.
When you speak positive words you bless the one you speak to and the blessings come back to you in multiplied forms.
On the other hand, negative words like ‘I hate you’, ‘fool’ and ‘you call yourself a man’ creates negative atmosphere to hurt us. Negative words are hard to synthesise in the mind.
The Bible describes negative words like sharp razor, snake poison, sword that pierces the heart and a tool that breaks relationships.
Your words and you
Your words reveal who you are and your innermost thoughts and what you wish for yourself because out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. If you speak dirty words you are dirty. Negative words stir up anger to imprison you.
If you confess that you are not lucky in marriage, it is like ordering a meal at a restaurant. It comes as you order it. On the other hand, if you stand on God’s promises and claim good health and prosperity, God will find a way to honour his promise in your life. You are therefore your words. Who and what you are today is a measure of the words you used in the past.
Your words and your relationship
Words of kindness and acceptance generate warmth and appreciation from our lovers who react more kindly and acceptably to us. Negative words stir up trouble and may even destroy a marriage.
Many marriages have been destroyed by negative words. For example some 10 years ago, a woman in a heated argument with her husband in the bedroom called him ‘kwasea’.
The man, a popular Ashanti royal, knew ‘kwasea’ meant more than a fool but actually means one who is worthless, irresponsible, good for nothing and deserving no respect.
The man’s response was instant divorce and all attempts by many dignitaries have failed. It is also known that the genocide in an African country started with a radio presenter calling one tribe ‘cockroaches’.
Many of our sins are through the words we speak – lying, profanity, scandal, gossiping, quarrelling and bragging. Your words therefore create your eternity. Jesus warns that you will account for your words and warns further that anyone who calls another ‘fool’ will be in danger of hell fire.
Your words create your relationship
Solomon said if you want to be happy control your words. Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth. Keep talking to your spouse but choose words of hope affirmation, encouragement, motivation, love acceptance, appreciation, comfort and hope.
Spice up your conversation with truth, purity and love. Your words will make you a victor or victim in your personal life, marriage and life after death. Choose to win with your words. The message is simple; your words create you, your marriage and eternity.
Therefore, let the words of your mouth and the meditation of your heart be pleasing to you, your lover, family, church, society and God.
The writer is the Director of Eudoo Counselling Centre, West Legon, Accra. He is also the author of ‘Your Guide To Marriage’, ‘Love Unlimited and ‘The Journey Of Love’.
Mobile: 0208181861, Email: jydboakye02yahoo.com.