Raising courageous children
Courage is not just about going down a slide or sleeping in a dark room alone.
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It is about having the confidence to do what is right, standing up to bullies and believing in one’s self fearlessly.
It is about being able to say ‘no’ to requests and proposals that are sincerely not convenient, asking questions to seek clarity and answering questions in class, without shaking.
Courage, certainly, is not the absence of fear.
It is the force of conscience that enables one to take an action despite pain, danger or fear.
There is a spiritual warrior inside of everyone who must be beckoned when necessary.
The fuel of this man is courage.
Without teaching children how to fuel this man, they can grow up to be cowards.
Living a fulfilled life with vibrancy requires initiative, adventurousness, passion, risk-taking, sustained actions against odds, sacrifice for ideals and others, demonstrating leaps of faith and being able to see and seize new opportunities.
Why?
This is why Jesus told His disciples to wait for the gift His Father had promised them before leaving Jerusalem to witness what they had seen and experienced.
They had enjoyed time with Jesus and were in such a hurry to go around sharing their participation in his life, teachings and miracles, his death, burial and resurrection.
In obedience, they waited for the baptism of the Holy Spirit – an encounter which gave them courage to speak truth boldly to opposing authority without fear or favour and which made them strongly convinced in their decision to be witnesses of Jesus.
Deliberately
Parents must deliberately make courage a part of their conversation with children.
They must be taught that courage means being afraid but doing the right thing anyway.
Courage is the virtue needed to admit wrongdoing despite fearing the consequences.
By allowing children to express themselves and accept who they are, they grow without fear of criticism.
This is true for children who have disabilities or shortcomings that are easy to notice.
The heroes and heroines that children are exposed to must include healthy risk-takers.
Princess Diana, for instance, was the first person of profile who was ready to shake hands with persons living with HIV/AIDS in 1987.
This was at a time when people feared that they could contract the disease through physical touch and so stigma was highest.
This act drew compassion rather than stigma from the world.
The inspiration children receive from such stories can stay with them throughout their lifetime.
Books
Courage should be on their reading list.
Books that give them a love for trying new things are another way to raise courageous children.
Parents must be willing to be vulnerable enough to share their own success stories of how they pursued a task whilst afraid.
Stories about how they missed the mark teach their children about coping and how not to be sour losers.
Schools must be proactive in teaching children how to connect and be kind to each other.
Schools that teach children the rudiments of conversation and how to apologise are safe and provide the kind of climate where students can excel.
Allowing children to face the consequences of their actions and inactions is a good way to help them not become spineless.
Let us reinforce the self-esteem of children with positive talk when they reveal their fear of failing certain subjects such as Math and Science.
Building up courage is a crucial part of parenting; failure of which can breed pushovers and adults who never take risks.
As Ronald Reagan puts it, “The future does not belong to the light-hearted.
It belongs to the brave.”
The writer is a Child Development Expert/ Fellow at Zero-to-three Academy, USA.
E-mail: [email protected]