How stress affects your sex life
My last two articles have focused on stress and how your work may be hurting your health.This week, I delve into a very important aspect of life - sex and how stress may be affecting your ‘bedroom roles’.
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Stress, what is it?
As I indicated in my previous articles, we use the word “stress” when we feel that everything seems to have become too much and we are overloaded, and wonder whether or not we really can cope with the pressures placed upon us.
Anything that poses a challenge or a threat to our wellbeing is stress. Some stresses get you going and they are good for you - without any stress at all, many say, our lives would be boring and would probably feel pointless.
However, when the stresses undermine both our mental and physical health, they are bad and you’ve got to deal with them.
Some common effects of stress on your body are headache, muscle tension or pain (eg. chest pain), fatigue, change in sex drive and sleep problems. On your mood, you may experience anxiety, restlessness, lack of motivation or focus, irritability or anger.
Yes! There you have it - stress affects your sex life. You may be wondering why all of sudden your spouse has lost interest in being intimate with you or why the “passion” has just fizzled out- it may be due to stress.
How stress affects sex life
According to Dr Andre Kwasi-Kumah, Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of the Eden Family Hospital, stress can arise from work, family issues, financial troubles, neighbourhood challenges, marriage matters, among others, and it tends to impact sex life negatively.
He said sexual satisfaction is a function of proper coordination in the brain and “so when the brain is on fire from stress, it adversely affects sex life”.
“A successful and pleasurable sexual act involves the coordination of about four systems in the body,” he noted.
In women, in particular, psychological preparation before a sexual act is very important and some say foreplay in women must begin 24 hours before the physical foreplay.
“Therefore, a woman who is stressed may not have the sexual appetite or libido, and when she undertakes the act nonetheless, her arousal time would be very prolonged or may not even happen. She may also not get wet easily and may not reach orgasm,” he said.
In men, stress could cause erectile dysfunction or impotence temporarily. This means the man may not experience an erection or may manage only a weak one. Prolonged stress could result in prolonged impotence and reduced sexual performance.
Dr Kwasi-Kumah said the principle in reducing stress was to uproot the root cause of it. This means finding what is causing the stress and take it from there.
“It may mean exercising more, delegating at work, organising better, resting more and taking leave, better communication with spouse or even changing jobs. Stress, if not tackled early and quickly, could result in depression,” he pointed out.
Another point of view
A Sexologist and Sexuality Educator, Dr Logan Levkoff, shares the same view with Dr Kwasi-Kumah.
Writing on the article, “5 Ways Stress Can Affect Your Sex Life,” Dr Levkoff said stress contributed to a negative body image. Bad body image amounts to bad sex. 
She noted that the hormones produced in association with stress can impact our metabolism. If we feel sluggish or gain weight (unintentionally), it can make us feel bad about our physiques. If we don't like our bodies, it is pretty difficult to find the desire to shed your clothes and jump into bed with your partner.
Again she says stress takes a toll on our libido.
By now, we know that hormones affect our bodies in numerous ways from childhood to adolescence, pregnancy, menopause and beyond.
Cortisol is one of the hormones produced by stress. Our bodies need this hormone, but in small doses for short bursts of time. If elevated levels of cortisol are being produced for a prolonged period of time, they suppress our sex hormones. Lower quantity of sex hormones equals lower libido.
“Stress makes us question our relationships and our partners. When we are stressed, we are not that pleasant to be around - and vice versa.
Relationships suffer when we are stressed, especially if we stop communicating or if our communication consists of rolling our eyes and grunting at a loved one,” says Dr Levkoff.
She notes that stress can also lead to excessive drinking. Excessive drinking makes for bad sex.
It is important to note that stress impacts fertility and menstrual cycle. When a woman is stressed, her hormone levels take a dive.
Stress can impact the pituitary gland which controls the thyroid, adrenal glands and ovaries.
“If our ovaries aren't functioning properly, your menstrual cycle is adversely affected. Our periods may become irregular or we may stop menstruating altogether.This is called amenorrhoea and, if stress-related, not a permanent condition,” explains Dr Levkoff.
Dr Levkoff advises that if you are trying to get pregnant, you need to decrease your stress.
It’s time to make changes. Make 2014 less stressful.