The future we hope for may not be as we anticipate. This means we’d have waited and not lived. Achieving a goal or having the next big thing happen to you doesn’t make you more alive than you are now.
Sometimes, we get so engulfed by how achieving a feat will make us feel that we forget that it just affects life’s situation or circumstance and not life itself. For example, in my experience with first-time pregnant women, I have realised that their perception of the future is usually not complete. They consider it just a part of the future- they will become free and happier when they deliver.
Another group is those who are looking for jobs. They think that everything will change when they get a good-paying job. This belief is somewhat true.
However, people who think this way often miss the truth about the needs of human beings. Human need is insatiable. The rich want to be richer and the poor want to be rich. The beautiful ones want to be more beautiful. The one who said I will be okay when I buy a Camry now wants to get a Benz.
Another reality that we don’t often consider when we think about achieving all the things we want to achieve is the stress that comes with it.
Giving birth means more stress. A good job may be more demanding than you think. Because of these pieces that are unconsciously taken out of the puzzle when people think about the future, they conclude that the future will be better. Consequently, people postpone their happiness.
But achieving your goals won’t make you more alive than you are today. It may seem that I’m not being real because when you have a goal to achieve, you must give it your all. That’s true but... It is not a cinch that our ideal future would be just like the blueprint we have in our minds.
Haven’t you heard that someone graduated from the university with a first-class and died a few months after? Do you think the person didn’t have plans for a better future like we all do? The person never made it to that future. This means that the future which is superior to our future is full of possibilities and not certainties.
Maybe your life is in shambles and you can’t see any branch of hope to hold on to, but you have to know that others are going through worse challenges. You are not the worst person alive. No matter what you are going through, find a reason to smile.
If you cannot find it in your present situation, thankfully you have a brain that has a memory replete with not only bad but very wonderful memories as well. Do yourself a favour and pack a bag and travel into the place called pleasant memories avenue and stay there for a while.
One day, I was chatting with a pregnant woman who was scared of complications due to the stress she was experiencing; she said to me, “I can’t take it anymore. My husband doesn’t respect me anymore and I feel like a stranger in my own house. My husband wants a divorce after cheating on me and he is really frustrating me.
“I don’t have the strength to continue this. I am tired”. I felt very bad for her and could only imagine how she was feeling. Her life’s situation was not as she anticipated. I asked her, would you say your life is so bad that there’s nothing you can be grateful for? She said, “I am grateful for my children”.
“They are my everything”. I saw a faint grin on her face as she told me about her children. “I asked her again, do you have memories that make you smile?” She started recalling an incident and suddenly her face began beaming and our conversation became lively for a moment.
What you want to achieve shouldn’t make you oblivious to being that your life revolves around your goals. Our dreams only exist in the realm of our minds. The satisfaction we hope to have is usually a mental mirage that spurs us on to a wild goose chase of true happiness. While you anticipate, live! Don’t be a stranger to life.