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Vicky Wireko: How scary is growing old?

I truly like being in the company of young adults. They see the world differently from how my generation sees it. They bring refreshing thoughts to their reasoning when one engages them in discussions.

And so a few days ago, I found myself dining with a group of young male and female adults, none of them more than 30 years. We spoke and laughed about many things from politics to the economy, church to society, family to responsibilities. My take away that night however was a remark by one of them that growing old was scary.

Loss of fame

His reasoning was that at Church he sees one particular man who was once an authority in Ghana’s politics, well respected by all sides and very intelligent too. This man now comes to Church each Sunday looking as if he has never mattered in the country’s political affairs. 

His other reason for saying that was because each morning he bids his 90-year-old grandfather goodbye as he leaves for work and comes back in the night to see him sitting alone at the corner where he bade him goodbye in the morning. Nothing much is happening in his life at that age.

What perhaps made me believe the young man was serious about the growing old remarks was when he explained further that these days they meet a group of young men fresh from the university and their demeanour makes people like him who left the university barely four years ago feel old. 

Casting my mind back and trying to remember some of the people who used to make the headlines, locally and internationally, and who were once at the helm of affairs, famous in politics, sports, film acting, in music, in the ministry of God, the rich and the powerful, but now have disappeared from the scene due to aging, I seem to agree that growing old is scary.

Rich and wealthy

Growing old could be scary when the rich, with all their wealth and fame, cannot do much about their aged bodies and overused brains because even the exotic shops they used to buy from do not stock the replacement parts. Yes, plastic surgeries, transplants, transfusions and all the medical advancements they can afford are not absolute. They are just stopgaps.

Aging may be scary when individuals who were once agile and about, in control of their own affairs, are now completely dependent on others. They cannot cook for themselves nor drive the luxury vehicles they once drove around. They cannot be the first to be called to sample those restaurants in town before anyone gets to hear of them. 

Loneliness

I agree that growing old could be scary especially in a world where life expectancy is increasing but there is not much to cushion it. At that age, there is some level of loneliness. Fame does not matter anymore. One does not have many friends around. The children may all have moved out getting on with their lives. 

Limitations

Growing old could be scary because at that age, there are limits to everything one does. One may have all the money to eat one whole chicken each day and juicy steaks over a bottle of champagne every weekend. Unfortunately at that old age, one cannot be reckless with food or drinks. 

Instead, the foods one eats at that old age are tasteless, no salt; sugar free, probably no milk, no red meat, nothing like shrimps, lobsters and caviars. The line up of champagnes, Black Label whisky and assorted liqueurs are gone forever. In their place, dining and bedside tables are covered with all kinds of medication.

Developing world

Growing old could be even more scary if you live in a developing world. Yes, the life expectancy rate may be going up all right but pensions are virtually non-existent for old people to live comfortably despite the limitations. Health care for the aged in developing countries like ours is poor and there is nothing like freedom passes where one can hop on any bus and move freely about for sightseeing. 

I have been thinking since I dined out with the group of young adults and totally agree with the sentiments they raised about growing old. It is scary. The unfortunate thing is that the scare in old age cannot be reversed. 

Measures could be taken to lessen the scare but that is only temporary. The facts still remain that old age is unfriendly, uncaring and hard, a really lonely place to be.

 

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