Countless persons outwardly appear normal.
Within, they are not.
They are squirming in a maelstrom of conflicting choices, the basis of which is fear.
Indecisive, wavering, they oscillate between doing this or not doing that; avoiding this or embracing that; risking failure or averting shame; beginning or postponing; starting afresh or giving up.
And, behind each choice is, no doubt, an experience of bitterness, or pain, or financial ruin, or just fear of failure, which has created a psychological mind set of being overcautious.
Fear is destructive of happiness, and we must consider how we could overcome it, and live our lives triumphantly.
Let’s define fear to mean an emotional response to any threat, either real or imagined; the threat could relate to you, or to another person.
So that, when another person drowns in a river from swimming, you could emotionally respond by also imagining yourself drowning, just like that fellow, and then decide that you won’t swim in a river or the sea, perhaps, because you are an amateur.
Whatever emotional feelings go through you that causes apprehension of a kind is fear.
Psychologists have identified the following reactions as some of the symptoms of fear:
• You find it hard to concentrate on anything else
• You feel dizzy
• You feel frozen to the spot
• You can’t eat
• You have hot and cold sweats
• You get a dry mouth
• You breathe very fast
• Your muscles feel weak
• Your stomach churns
• You sweat a lot
• Your bowels feel loose
• You get very tense muscles
The very psychological nature of fear makes it difficult to always know why we fear, as some things get lodged in the subconscious mind, and trigger off fear with the least stimuli.
If you ever escaped from a lorry accident, and the driver had to speed up to overtake another vehicle, the mere acceleration causes fear in you, and lo, the driver is in trouble: “Ei driver, are you going to kill us?!” “Where are you speeding to?!”
Regardless of whatever state you are in, you are the best person to know whether you need help to overcome your fear, by consulting a counsellor/priest, a doctor, a friend, or just to will and overcome it by a supreme faith in yourself.
Psychologists have tried out various approaches by which we can overcome our fear of anything, and develop courage to tackle our challenges.
In this, you deny whatever you are afraid of and affirm its opposite; for example, divorce.
“I have gone through a divorce, but that is not the end of life.
I am human, and forgive myself for whatever I did wrong (Be sincere).
I deny that divorce is the end of marriage.
Someone out there desires me; someone out there is compatible with me.
Someone out there loves me as I am.
I can love and be happy with someone.
Now I affirm that someone is coming my way.
I will remarry and become happy!” Hold on to the thought, and deny and affirm; and lo, it works!
Developing strong will power
This requires fortifying your mind with positive statements that strengthen your resolve to achieve anything you purpose, or overcome anything you dread.
The Holy Scriptures (Bible, Koran, etc.) abound with such assurances of help and overcoming.
Simply, one must put one’s trust in God.
Philippians 4:13. I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.
II Timothy 1: 7. For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
Joshua 1: 9. Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.
St John 15:7. If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you. (KJV)
There are many such assurances of divine help, and memorising such quotes builds your faith, and provides a positive and protective power for success against fear and failure.
By visualisation, you call up in your mind and mentally see yourself doing the very thing you feared to do; for example, courtship.
See yourself in the company of the lady you desire, either at home with her, or in her office, or at an event where the two of you meet.
See yourself talking to her, and she smiling back at you.
See yourself complimenting something good about her dress, or way of talking or mannerism.
See the two of you talking happily with each other, and then saying good bye.
Let your visualisation be vivid and concentrative.
Do it as often as you can.
After such visualisation, move and confront her.
You might be shocked what you visualised would happen in an agreeable manner!
Visualisation is mental energy sent out into space with specific configuration and it works.
Analyse your fears
Ask yourself why you fear a specific thing.
Look at it calmly, and you might realise that your fears have been foolish and infantile; that you are capable of doing what you feared, and you could actually be victorious.
With such awareness, proceed to carry out your intentions.
You will succeed.
Exercise: When you keep fearing a thing, it etches itself on your mind.
Break its hold by exercising, jogging, walking, or doing anything that changes your monotony and directs your mind in another direction.
Remarkably, such activities de-stresses you to enable you look afresh at your fears.
Invariably, a solution wlll appear that will free your energies in a creative way to overcome and be free.
I end by referring readers to the famous story of David and Goliath, a perfect illustration of fear conquered by courage (I Samuel 17).
When you replace fear with the courage to dare what you feared, then you become an overcomer, and great opportunities open up for you, the seizure of which takes you to higher levels of achievement and prosperity.
You are greater than your fears; cease fearing, because greater is He that is in you than that which is without.