A woman is a blessed creation. She has intuition like radar that makes her feel situations around her. She can do many activities at the same time because unlike a man, her brain is generalised. A woman is far more proficient in language than a man.
It is known that a woman has higher constitutional vitality and outlives her lover by four - eight years. A woman is the exact representation of the beauty in creation.
A woman however is human and has her deficiencies. She has lesser muscles and blood which gives her less than half the brute strength of a man and less capable of defending herself physically.
She is controlled by fast hormonal and chemical changes making her emotionally unpredictable. A woman’s greatest enemy is however her age.
Women and age
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Age is the same for all men and women but it works differently on women and men. Women mature much faster than men and go over the hill earlier.
Today, we hear of Ghanaian girls of 10 and 11 becoming mothers. We also hear of women in their 30s getting into menopause.
A man in his reproductive lifetime produces 20 to 300 million sperms a day. On the other hand, a woman is born with all the eggs she needs in life. During foetal life, there are up to eight million eggs.
At birth there are about one million eggs and by the time of puberty only 300-400 will be ovulated during a woman’s reproductive lifetime.
Children are the focus of marriage in Ghana and a marriage without children is seen as bad omen. Studies however show that by age 35 one in four women is infertile and by age 40 one in two is infertile.
In fact, pregnancy after 35 is not seen as the best because of its associated problems. Compare this with the fact that some men at 90 and over are known to have fathered babies.
The age of consent for sex and therefore marriage for women is 16 and according to the Ghana Multiple Indicator Cluster Survey (MICS) one of four girls in Ghana is married before the 18th birthday.
Again according to Ghana Demographic & Health survey (GDHS), one in three women in Ghana is married at 18 years.
It is also known that the median age at first marriage in Ghana for women between ages 25-49 is 19.8years. A study also showed that by age 40, only one per cent of women would never have been married. A woman who is not married by age 35 becomes a concern to many family members who put pressure on her to get married.
A man can wait on end before marriage but a woman must hurry up. If no eligible lovers are coming, anxiety sets in. Desperation is like panic. Hunting for love never brings the right love. A woman may become clingy.
Potential lovers can easily detect desperation in a woman and withdraw because they feel rushed instead of being allowed time to grow the relationship. Others simply take undue advantage of such women and dump them after satisfying their needs.
What to do
Believe in yourself and love yourself. If you don’t love yourself, nobody can love you. Desire to marry because nothing will happen to you except what you put in your mind. Prepare yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
Group date. Go where people who have similar interests as yours go - church, fun games and parties. Search from your neighbourhood, social groups and even the internet. Don’t be afraid to let people know you are available.
Do everything with passion to draw admiration to you. Open your heart to all you come into contact with. Give more, expect less. Talk about life and not about your private worries. The more fully you live your life, the greater your chances of meeting a lover.
Get close to a lover, gradually know as much as possible as you can - tribe, education, background, faith, work, temperament, attitude to money, hobbies, family background and past relationships,
Know his strengths. Look for commitment, honesty, mutual respect, trust, spirituality and forgiving spirit. Know his weaknesses. Look for abuse, intolerance and poor communication.
Set limits. Avoid immediate sex so that you know those who are there just to use you. This also means you avoid co habitation. It is the worst thing to do before marriage. Be certain you can share your life with your lover to the end.
What you must avoid is to trap a man with pregnancy. Love is not the same as sex. Pregnancy is therefore not an indication a man loves you. Again don’t buy love by spending a lot to impress your lover.
Anybody whose loyalty you can buy will let you down when the wine runs dry. You can’t buy love. This also means you avoid trickery, manipulation and occultism.
Again never set unrealistic standards for your lover. Look for inner beauty. If you support your lover you can get him to anywhere you want
Are you anxious about your future marriage?
Today, many cases come in from women who have to make a hard decision of accepting men who are much younger because their age mates are taken and they feel being left out. Some fear waiting may intensify competition with younger and more beautiful women. Some get into panic, anxiety and desperation.
You may be searching and age may be catching up with you but just don’t accept anyone because you desire to marry. Believe that if you work hard and pray hard, you will have a sweet lover and a happy family.
See age just as a figure and never be anxious about your future family but in everything with prayer and thanksgiving let your request be known to God.
Work hard. Pray hard. In His time, He will make everything beautiful in your life and sooner than you think, you will surely get a lover of your dreams.