Keeping the love alive after the honeymoon phase ends
According to BlackLoveAdvice.com, the honeymoon phase is described as the initial first stage of a relationship. It is characterized by intense emotions of attraction, happiness, and longing to be with your partner.
It’s the most exciting time in your relationship; everything is new and fresh. Your partner hasn’t noticed any of your quirks yet, and every moment with your new boo feels like an adventure.
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Now, the honeymoon phase can last anywhere between 6 months to a year. I think we spend so much time trying to get into a relationship, that many of us only think about this part. The ‘fun part.’ The dates, the sex, the intimacy, having someone new to gossip with your friends about. But what happens when the honeymoon phase ends?
Primer Magazine discusses how many of us don’t see the end of the honeymoon coming. We trick ourselves into thinking it’s always going to be this way– it’s always going to be fun and easy. The magic starts to dwindle, you settle into routines with your partner, and things are less exciting. Primer points out that many people assume that the end of the honeymoon period is the end of the relationship, which is not necessarily the case. I think in general, we don’t spend enough time talking about how to navigate the next level of a relationship that may be foreign to us.
Being a long-term relationship requires endurance. I’m writing this as I begin training for my 4th half marathon. It’s a slow build. I’m not gonna start out at a 10k because I’m getting back into shape. I have to start slow. The same goes for a relationship. So many of us want to be in love but don’t conceptualize what it takes to weather the storms and to keep the momentum going. It is so much more work than we want to admit. Coupled with maintaining friendships, dealing with everyday stresses of work and the responsibilities that come from adulting, maintaining a healthy, passionate partnership can seem like just another thing on the to-do list.
As I get older, I realize that life is about discipline and pushing through when you want to give up. It never gets easier. We are just forced to get better, or not. So many areas of life require much of the same things. Work, friendships, health, all of these areas require consistency, commitment, and patience. What I’ve learned is to control what I can and go with the flow with everything else.
Perhaps you are currently leaving the honeymoon period, and are unsure how to navigate this new phase in your relationship. Primer Magazine suggests a few things that may help you continue to build with your boo.
Taking a little space and time. Sometimes we love our partner so much that we think we need to be up under them 24/7. The relationship is not just about your partner, it’s about you, too. Taking some designated ‘me’ time during the week can help, especially if you’re starting to work each other’s nerves. It’s all in how you broach the subject with your partner. In order for ya’ll to be the best for each other, you have to create time for self-care, too.
Try something new together. Perhaps taking up a cooking classes, or visiting a new museum. It’s important to continuously try new things with each other, and keep the experiences fresh.
Liven up the bedroom. Nothing wrong with keeping things spicy ladies! Perhaps stop by your favorite lingerie store and pick up something sexy for yourself, or plan a romantic night in with boo.
The important thing to remember is that just because the honeymoon phase is over, does not mean that the relationship is! Don’t be afraid of changes that can happen as you grow together. Embrace it, and be open to the possibilities of a new and evolving period in your relationship.