If there’s one story that we all love to read, it’s the demands of an unreasonable bride.
It doesn’t matter whether she’s setting a bizarre dress code based on your weight, or simply telling you to put aside $4,000 to attend the nuptials, stories about brides (and let’s face it, it’s very rarely the grooms) becoming utterly unreasonable are fascinating.
Lots of us have experienced our own versions of unreasonable wedding expectations, even from couples who pre wedding planning were perfectly nice, normal people. So what is it about planning a wedding that turns normal people into entitled, grabby nightmares?
According to Sarah George, digital editor for Bride and Bride: The Wedding Show at Tatton Park, it’s about money, and stress.
She tells Metro.co.uk: ‘With so much to organise – from finding the perfect venue and searching for the dream dress to liaising with suppliers and co-ordinating guests – all the while, sticking to a budget, it is no wonder that brides (and grooms) can show signs of stress.
‘With the average wedding cost now exceeding £32,000*, there is so much pressure to make the wedding day perfect in every aspect and the seamless transition from each stage of the day requires meticulous planning months in advance.’
Editor of Wedding and Wedding Flowers Katie Byrne added to this, explaining: ‘Much like any huge life event, planning a wedding comes with its own set of pressures.
This will vary from couple to couple, with everything from finances to family all having the potential to contribute.
Self-inflicted pressures (such as choosing to handmake 300 paper fans, for example) can also play their part.
In short, it can be a minefield for couples to navigate. ‘A small minority of people seem to take ‘…But I’m the bride!’ or ‘…It’s my wedding day!’ as a means to justify all sorts of mad behaviour.
‘A recent example that hit headlines was the bride who had been secretly ‘fattening up’ her bridesmaids by plying them with calorie-heavy shakes, in order to make herself appear slimmer in comparison to them on her wedding day.
‘There have been a variety of stories about brides who have been outraged when guests have refused to pay four figures to join them for their overseas nuptials (remember Susan?) and in my capacity as a former bridal editor, I’ve heard all sorts of weird and wild tales that are too bonkers to believe.’
However, Katie points out that bad behaviour from a bride or groom can sometimes actually point to a deeper truth, for instance that the person in question is really struggling with the pressure of planning a wedding. ‘Wedding planning can bring out the ‘worst’ in people, but ‘the worst’ varies from person to person.
In some people, as above, it’s mad behaviour that they wouldn’t dream of in ‘real life’ (well – you’d like to think), whilst in others it can unlock anxieties and nervous issues as they lie awake at night worrying about things such as bridesmaid relations and keeping parents happy.’
So if a bride is shouting at you for having the wrong shade of pink nail varnish, it might be that she’s actually angry with herself for not having perfectly clear skin, or because her soon to be mother-in-law has made a snarky comment about her dress.
People tend to lash out because they are unhappy.
Which is really sad, considering that your wedding is supposed to be the best day of your life.
If someone you care about enough to attend their wedding is showing signs of becoming a nasty person over the organisation process, it’s probably down to pressure and stress.
As a friend, you can do them a world of good by checking in, talking to them about life outside of the wedding and trying to remind them that there is a life away from table plans.
As Katie says: ‘Remind them why they’re getting married. They’re not doing it to impress anyone, or to throw the best-ever party.
There’s no need for them to launch themselves into married life with a litter of debts behind them, simply because they thought they should.
‘Planning your dream wedding and getting swept up in a world of Pinterest boards and tulle is lovely – but don’t lose sight of the fact that, at the end of the day, you’re marrying your best friend.’