Today most marriages everywhere fail. In fact global studies suggest that while 60 per cent of all marriages end in divorce, 20 per cent of all marriages are lifeless.
This means today every marriage has only 20 per cent chance of success.
Marriage today is then the most risky business you could think about. Imagine a client whose marriage collapsed the very day he married by ordinance!
As humans we seek the path of least resistance by seeking easier alternatives to marriage so that we can enjoy all about marriage without marrying.
Some are suggesting we go back to the legendary Amazon culture where men and women lived completely apart. Once a year they would meet to breed and then return to their separate islands to care for their kids.
Others are also suggesting we ban marriages completely. In fact Nancy Lehmann’s 1971 Declaration of Feminism said in part “… we must work to destroy marriage … it is a necessary condition for liberation of women …. No woman must stay with a woman …”
Recently a powerful lady politician in Europe, twice divorced and contesting the leadership of the governing party, has proposed as part of her manifesto, a limit to marriage, expiring after seven years with the option to renew it.
In fact it is also known that two legislators in the US have proposed an amendment for three-year marriages with the option for renewal.
Why some accept renewable contract
Studies show that 90 per cent of women and 75 per cent of men sometimes feel they married the wrong partners. A contract period will be like an apprenticeship and a time to make certain partners have the right partners before sealing the marriage.
Couples may also be obliged to put on their best behavior, especially around the renewal time to make the relationship work. Unhappy partners can be polite as they wait for the time to exit and make precious time together.
The option by one partner to leave would be simple. The one who leaves will still be deemed single because he isn’t divorced. This will save the trauma and mess of divorce as the anticipated time will make them prepare to part by mutual acceptance.
Partners will only commit for a term of a fixed period. They therefore have a mix of autonomy and commitment to enjoy life together. Others also argue that no two lovers are made only for each other for life.
A flexible arrangement therefore, helps us seek for those who better meet their emotional needs and passion. People grow and change in different directions and it is also believed that renewable contract will reduce cohabitation, which is increasing among the youth.
A renewable contract will therefore be an adaptation or modification to a new generation’s need to marriage which is under threat.
Why some will not renew their marriage
It is challenging to stay fully committed to a relationship which gives no security but gives you the option to quit especially in difficult times. It becomes tempting to jump into marriage without thinking twice.
It is also known that remarriages have higher rate of failure because of the tendency to carry hurts into subsequent marriages. All relationships are difficult and quitting in renewable marriages will accelerate the rate of remarriages because of the failure to attempt to resolve differences or improve upon it.
Parenting would be difficult under a contract agreement. Children growing with such parents have higher incidence of health problems including higher rate of emotional instability and poor self-esteem.
They are also known to perform poorly academically. This simply means in attempt to have easy options in life, we create an unstable generation.
Will you accept marriage by renewable contract?
Marriage is a sacred institution. It is about a man and woman coming together to be one flesh to share in this mystery and blessing. Our maker designed marriage to be a lifetime commitment. Marriage is forever. This explains why the Akans say marriage is not like palm wine which you can taste and not buy.
Hard work, total commitment, effective communication, a forgiving spirit and a positive mental altitude will give us a winning formula and not expiry date to hide our inadequacies in our marriages.
It takes time to build a fulfilling relationship through hard work, but not fleeing. Choose carefully whom you want to marry through sound friendship and courtship.
If you do marry, let your marriage be like diamond in your hands. Like diamond, let it be forever.
Marriage will continue to be a lifelong commitment. If you don’t accept the permanency of marriage, don’t marry at all.
If you want a time limit relationship you have the freedom and right to do it but just don’t call it marriage. You get married or not.
If you are not ready, wait. And when you do marry, let it last your lifetime. This is God’s good plan for marriage. Live your marriage only God’s way.