When your parents hate the one you love ( Part One)
It will probably happen to you at least once in your life. You'll fall for somebody that your parents don't like. Sometimes, their disapproval will be valid, other times it will be irrational, but no matter what it will be hard for you to deal with.
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What do you do when your parents can't stand the person you’re dating? Before taking on the role of diplomat, or even worse, the role of family agitator, there are some things that you need to examine.
You need to take an honest look at your romantic motivations and the reasons for your parents' objections.
Examining Your Motivations
Why are you dating this person? Be brutally honest. Are you crazy in love or love driving your parents crazy? If you are motivated by rebellion, the simplest and right thing to do is end the relationship.
It isn't fair for you to use somebody else to get to your parents. With the relationship out of the way, you will be able to focus on the real issue of why you feel the need to resort to such drastic rebellion in the first place.
Do you have real and deep feelings for this person, or do you have less heartfelt reasons for the relationship? Are you dating this person because of pressure from friends or in the name of popularity?
If your feelings are based on your reputation rather than your heart, you are being unfair to the person you're dating and your parents. Take a step back and ask yourself if the relationship is really worth all the drama it is causing. Chances are good the answer will be no and your problem will solve itself.
What if It's Love?
Love doesn’t always make sense. People fall in love for many different reasons. Opposites can attract and people can find themselves in relationships that look weird to the outside world. When you find love, it can make anything seem possible.
When your parents object to your love it can feel like they just don’t understand.
It can be confusing and upsetting. You love your parents but your relationship is important to you as well. If you are in a good and loving relationship you will do whatever it takes to protect it, even go against your parents.
Examining Your Parents' Objections
Sometimes, you have to fight for love. If your parents don’t like the person you love, you will definitely have a fight on your hands. It is important for you to understand where your parents are coming from and why they disapprove of the relationship. When you know why they object to your relationship, you will be better able to reason with them and stand up for your love.
Some of the reasons your parents disapprove may seem silly, others may seem wrong and some may actually have merit. It is up to you to look at the whole situation and see if your parents are seeing something you aren't or if they are acting from a place of ignorance.