The 7 meanest ways to dump a guy
We've all heard the horror stories of how women have been dumped.
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I was once dumped without knowing I was dumped. After months of dating, the guy just disappeared. I didn't know if I should fill out a Missing Person's Report, or burn his car with clothes and all ala Bernie (Angela Basset) inWaiting to Exhale.
That's not the worst of it, ladies. In this article by YourTango, a woman admits to being dumped via a mixed tape. The girl shared her story: how her man used to make her mixed CDs of love until the mixed CD of heartbreak. The lyric that sealed the deal was from Billy Bragg's "A Lover Sings."
"You and I are victims of a love that lost a lot in the translation," he sang.
I guess it really isn't over until The Fat Lady sings.
To get back at all the men who have wrongfully dumped us, I've created a list of the worst ways to break his heart. It's a bit tit for tat. But I've been heartbroken, people! Here are seven of the worst ways a woman can dump a man.
1. One More Romp Before You Go
A friend of mine admitted that she used a man that she was about to dump for one more romp. "I wanted to have sex one more time even though I didn't want to be with him," she said. Did it work? Like a charm. They did the deed and she then told him it was over. Ouch!
2. Change Your Number
If you want to treat him like a future stalker, dump him by changing your number. I've never done it for this exact purpose, but I have changed my number so my exes leave me alone. Sometimes men just don't get the hint. Let go, dude. Oh wait, you have no choice but to.
3. Let Him See You with Another Guy
I am guilty of dumping a man just like this. I didn't want to confront him and tell him I was so over him. He was really boring! He was also very into me. So I started dating someone else and paraded my new love on campus. I ignored my then-boyfriend's phone calls. When he just so happened to see me with the new guy I was dating, he got the message. I now feel terrible, of course. He was a nice guy. College Sujeiry had issues!
4. Let Gossip Handle It
If you tell people you're single, especially your mutual friends, it will get back to him. Gossip always goes around. Whisper your single status into ears, and he will eventually realize you're done. However, it won't be pretty. Gossip never is.
5. Change Your Relationship Status to Single on Facebook
With the power of social media, you can nip this relationship in the bud. Just change your relationship status from "in a relationship" to "single." If your profiles are connected, it will automatically change his relationship status to "single." Just make sure he's not at a work meeting. He may lose control over the social media blast.
6. Tell His Mother It Is Over
When his mother calls you to come over for dinner, tell him you broke it off. The first thing his mother will do is call him to confirm. That's all the confirmation he needs.
7. Have Your New Guy Tell Him
When your soon-to-be-ex is calling, have your new guy pick up the phone. He will ask, "Who's this?" Your new guy will say, "Her boyfriend." And, well, you know, he'll know. Hopefully he can move on just as quickly as you have.