Three years ago, a society organised a day’s seminar on marriage. As a resource person, what attracted me most were a 50-year-old man and his 40-year-old wife.
They were the first to arrive and showed so much attention and affection to each other. They looked at each other with tender affection and were always ready to serve each other.
They said they had been married happily for 10 years. It was obvious a secret to their success was their devotion to each other.
The Macmillan English Dictionary defines devotion as admiration, loyalty and great love. It is about complete self-sacrifice to your lover.
Benefits
Devotion gives perseverance. The fact is no matter how much you love each other, you will have conflicts but when the chips are down it is your devotion that gives you the energy and fortitude to walk through your storms.
You make no room for failure and do all you can to make your relationship work
Devotion gives you perspective. You may have opportunities in your relationship but not all may turn out in your favour. With devotion, you play down on your weaknesses and focus on what is good for both.
You trust completely and make mutual decisions not for your personal gain but for the growth of your relationship.
Devotion gives protection. You accept that not everyone is on your side. Friends, relatives and colleagues may sow seeds of discord in your relationship but with devotion you avoid distraction of those who attempt to derail your relationship.
You put a hedge around your relationship so that there are no openings for others to exploit.
Deepening your devotion
Make your relationship the topmost priority in your life. It must come ahead of your work, friends and relatives. A woman must ensure she does not put her children ahead of her marriage. A man must ensure he does not put his work ahead of his marriage.
Do not bring work home. Have a good balance between work and relationship
Change your language from me to us and as far as possible resolve your conflicts without a third party. This helps you to see your lover and his or her needs as important as yours and the reason to sacrifice and make things work.
Play your roles well so that you can achieve good harmony. A man must be the leader, provider and protector. Love and honour your wife otherwise no matter how much you love and serve God your prayers will not be answered ( 1 Pet. 3:7). A woman must be submissive. You must also be a helpmate.
Be good friends. Make time for each other. Let what matters to your lover matter to you. Be ever ready to give care and support. Listen to each other and do activities you enjoy. Share all areas of your life.
Friendship is the foundation of a happy relationship. When you love with devotion wonderful things happen to you and your relationship; you enjoy greater physical and emotional intimacy. You find joy beyond your imagination.
Heart of commitment
It is one thing to be married and another thing to stay married. A secret to a happy marriage is your devotion because Muhamad Jonnah says with devotion there is nothing worthwhile that you cannot do.
An old highlife song says in part ‘me do ho ma wo’ or I am always devoted to you. Each day sing this song in your heart and live it because devotion is the foundation of a happy relationship. It is the heart of commitment.
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The writer is the director of Eudoo Counselling Centre, West Legon. He is also the author of ‘Your Guide To Marriage,’ ‘Love Unlimited’ and ‘The Journey Of Life.’
