Love goes beyond skin colour
In the past we lived in homogenous societies. Many grew up and lived where they were born. When you reached puberty, your parents or relatives would search for a suitable partner in the community for you. Such marriages were usually stable.
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But the situation is different today. In our era of migration, urbanisation and adventure, we find many people interacting with people of different races.
Today, it is common to find a significant number of Ghanaians marrying whites or ‘oburoni’.
Why marry ‘oburoni’?
Ghanaians love to travel and many find life abroad difficult to cope legally, socially and economically. Some, therefore, marry ‘oburoni’ for convenience.
They can acquire legal status to stay, move freely and change jobs. For such people, marriage is hardly based on true love. They live a lie and have back-up plans to marry their own kind when they finally come back home
In Ghana, it is a big social symbol to marry ‘oburoni’. Those who marry ‘oburoni’ feel lucky because Ghanaians see them as rich even when there is nothing to show about their wealth.
Some marry whites to cover their own inadequacies. To them, colour is the catch; it does not matter the personality inside the body.
There are also those who meet whites in their normal social life. Love comes when you do not look for it and since sexual hormones are blind to colour, some Ghanaians genuinely fall in love with whites, marry and have a happy family.
Some Ghanaian women think their own kinds are not romantic and selfless enough. On the other hand, a white man will be more affectionate, respectful, and supportive and treat you like a queen.
The challenge of marrying ‘oburoni’
Mixed marriages have their unique challenges, which are rooted in our social beliefs, habits and values. This is because for every culture people have their own customs on how a man and woman should treat each other.
The wider the disparity in culture, the greater the risk of marital failure. For example, while a man focuses on his nuclear family, the Ghanaian thinks more of the extended family.
A Ghanaian married to a white must learn to show affection openly. He must be less controlling and overbearing. He must accept to rotate domestic chores and live by strict schedule.
He must learn to talk freely about their sexual life and have sex by mutual consent; otherwise he could be charged with marital rape.
You must be aware of how foreign laws protect women. A verbal abuse which you could take for granted with a Ghanaian lover could get you in jail or make you lose your hard-earned property.
Love does not know skin colour
Irrespective of who you marry, your marriage will work if you work at it. Therefore, if you meet ‘oburoni’ who has the qualities you want in a partner, go after him or her.
Go where your heart takes you. You must, however, take your courtship seriously to know who the person really is. Talk about your expectations and the hard facts of adjusting to your different cultures.
You must also make sure you marry with the right intentions of sharing your life instead of seeking gain and social recognition.
Love is blind. It, therefore, does not tell if your lover is white, yellow or black. With commitment, hard work, effective communication, forgiving spirit and prayer your marriage will work, irrespective of the colour of your spouse.
The good news is that your love will work with anyone from any part of the globe because love does not know colour.
Email [email protected]. The writer is the director of Eudoo Counselling Centre, West Legon . He is also the author of Your Guide to Marriage, Love Unlimited and The Journey of Love
Mob 0208181861
