Try before you buy: Life and sex before marriage

BY: Arku Jasmine

Marriage is not an easy thing. When it’s good, it’s great but when it gets bad then people wonder why they would ever get married in the first place. I’m married and I’ve been enjoying it for 8 years now. There are always ups and down, but I wouldn’t trade any of it.

For my wife and I we were living together for two years before we finally ended up getting married. There was no big dramatic scene and a musical crescendo when I asked her if she wanted to get married. We both kind of just said “why not?”

Live together

There is definitely a school of thought that thinks that the secret to knowing if a marriage is going to work out is best discovered through cohabitation before the proverbial knot is tied. From a personal experience I agree with this.

It sounds odd and maybe a little cliché to compare it to this, but, imagine shopping for a new car. You wouldn't want to hand the salesman all your money and just drive the first thing you see off the lot. You want to test it out and make sure that it’s a good fit for you.

Being around each other also means that you will be forced to learn how to be around each other. All of your good and bad moments will be confined to your living space, meaning that even if you run from them, at some point you have to come back and deal with them. Learning how to deal with all of the joy and fighting of a relationship is crucial to the survivability of it.

Get it on.

Here’s the simple truth of it. Sex makes people happy. Most people that have had sex say they liked it enough to want to try it again.

Surprises in a marriage have a nasty way of disrupting the peace. Knowing what your partner’s sexual needs and desires are important because when those needs aren't being met in the home, often, people feel the need to get those needs met somewhere else.

Despite what movies and television dramas try and tell us, the first sexual experience is anything but a magical moment. This isn't just for virgins, the first time a couple has sex, it’s awkward, messy, and can be unpleasant for one or both parties involved. Get the awkward sex out of the way so that you can zero in on what both of you really like. Then when you have your honeymoon you can actually enjoy your honeymoon.

Making that wonderful connection with someone you are planning to spend the rest of your life with is truly something magical. I know it sounds sappy, but you’ll say the same thing when you've found that special someone, and when you actually know for sure that you can live with someone it’s even better.

Now, if only there was a way to test drive kids before they showed up as permanent residents in your home.