Relationship Rules Worth Breaking

BY: Arku Jasmine

And when it comes to relationships, they were absolutely right. Single and attached people alike; we’re all guilty of letting relationship rules close off new possibilities or make us believe our current relationships aren’t going to work out. 

Maybe you think your marriage is doomed because you’re not having sex every night like a healthy married couple should.

Or maybe you’re thinking of breaking it off with your boyfriend because you just don’t feel that spark anymore and that feeling should last forever.

Well, it’s time to stop letting these lame relationship rules dictate your love life! Here are some of the best ones to break:

Lame Relationship Rule #1: Don’t date a coworker.

Why you should break it:
Hey, if Jim and Pam can make it work on The Office, why can’t you?!  Especially when 40% of workplace dating relationships end in marriage.  Obviously you may want to think twice if your job has a strict rule about inter-office romance. But nowadays many workplaces are willing to let it slide if it doesn’t interfere with day to day activities. Relationship expert Jim Duzak, AKA “The Attorney at Love,” says the only real rule ought to be Proceed with Caution.

“Realistically, people are going to date co-workers, not only because they're easier to meet than total strangers, but because we get to see them in a lot of different situations and thus get to ‘pre-screen’ them for both good and bad qualities. “

The only catch is the type of co-worker you hook up with.

"Don't date a co-worker if he's married or if he's your supervisor,” adds Duzak, “Even when there's no sexual harassment in a work romance or no hint of favoritism, there's still the question of what happens if and when the relationship ends.”

Lame Relationship Rule #2: Blind Dates/Dating Sites are for Desperate People

Why you should break it:
‘Aint no shame in taking chances! Sometimes you have to get creative and find new ways to connect with someone. My best friend, Jill, agreed to go on a blind date with her roommate’s co-worker.  She trusted that her roommate knew her well enough to know what type of guy would make her happy. Guess what... one year later they are still together and she’s moving in with him! Had she turned the date down she would have missed the opportunity and gained nothing. What did she have to lose?

Same goes with online dating, speed dating, Meetup groups, etc. You never know where it can lead. And even if you don’t make a romantic connection, you could end up making a new friend (who may know someone perfect for you!)

If anything, Duzak says finding creative ways to meet people makes you that much more interesting. “Blind dates and online dating are really for people who are optimistic and adventurous. They're not just sitting there waiting for lightning to strike. They're willing to take the initiative and, if things go badly, learn from their experiences.”

Lame Relationship Rule #3: If It’s Meant to Happen, It Will

Why you should break it:
Listen, the whole concept of fate is sweet and all, but you can’t just sit around feeling sorry for yourself and waiting for that perfect guy to come waltzing into your life. Wake up! Get out there! Make something happen! If you meet a genuinely nice guy and the first date isn’t as perfect as you’d hoped, give the dude another chance. Research shows that it takes women nearly 14 dates before they can truly decide if they’re falling for a man.

Also ladies, if there’s someone out there who just can’t get the hint that you’re digging him, go ahead and take the reins. If you’re waiting for him to read your mind, you’ll be waiting a long time!

“If you like him, don't play games - forget everything you learned in The Rules book.  Be direct and tell him.,” says Manhattan-based psychotherapist and advice columnist  Jonathan Alpert, “He'll feel flattered and motivated for subsequent dates.”