How to talk and attract men

BY: Arku Jasmine

Most women dream of the day they will attract the man of their dreams. Many describe a man who is “tall, dark, handsome, (preferably) rich, sensitive, loves kids, has an advanced degree and loves his mom.”

I’ve described this same man, listened to my friends describe men of similar ilk and pondered, plotted and schemed about how to meet this mystery man.

Here, after watching (and experiencing) numerous disappointments on the dating scene, are my top tips for attracting the man of your dreams:

• Be indifferent: Men hate desperate women. The only thing they hate more than desperate women are those who are only attracted to them because they embody the above-mentioned traits.

Men find women attractive when they are not only unimpressed with their wealth and good looks, but treat them as if they are just some average Joe.

• Be fabulous: When you finally allow your mystery man the pleasure of your company, be fabulous. Be well-dressed, polite, polished, erudite and sophisticated.

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You don’t have to spend a lot of money, but you should look like you are well worth every penny you spent.

• Be mysterious: Don’t tell him every little thing about you on the first date or on the first two to three dates. As a matter of fact, you never need to tell him everything.

He relishes the excitement of uncovering you (figuratively of course) all for himself. You can and should confide in him as time goes by, but for heaven’s sake, let some time go by before you start revealing your deepest secrets.

• Be open: Having said the previous about being mysterious, you still want to be as open and honest about who you are and what you stand for.

Most men have a lot of respect for women who know their own minds. Know when to speak and when to let his remarks roll right over you.  

You should never, however, lie to your dream guy or mislead him about some significant event in your life.

• Be yourself: You are you – wonderful, unique, incredible you. And if that’s not good enough for him, then he is not good enough for you.

Believe me, you don’t want to start the relationship being someone else, because then you’ll have to live up to it at a later time.

By being yourself and fully unique, you’ll present him with the opportunity to fully appreciate you for the person you truly are.

• Smile often: The next time you’re talking to a guy you like, smile more often. Giggle at his jokes, smile now and then for no particular reason and bring that sparkle in your eyes.

After all, when you’re happy, it shows. And no guy can resist a girl with a beautiful laugh!

• Be coy and graceful:  Now, there’s a big difference between being a shy timid girl and a girl who’s coy.

Guys love coy, graceful girls. So be that one. And the guys will love to become your knight in shining armour.

• Touch him: Men have always been drawn to the gentle, tender touch of a girl.

Occasionally, touch his forearm or place your palm on the edge of his shoulder, or any other place that would be appropriate for casual touches, and you’ll see how his interest in you would grow in no time.

• Seek his protection: Throughout evolution, men have always been the hunters and the protectors while women have been the farmers and the foragers.

When you rekindle this primal instinct in a guy, he would appreciate it and love it. Make him feel like your protector. And he’ll want to be by your side all the time.

• Don’t badmouth or bitch: Girls who use foul language all the time are quite a bit of a turn off for most guys.

Additionally, don’t bitch about other girls or speak nastily about co-workers and passers-by when you’re walking on a street.

• Be Mischievous: There’s nothing better than a girl who can be shy and coy, and show off a streak of mischievousness now and then. It’s always nice to lighten things up now and then with a few pranks.

Guys like a girl who is all sweet, cute and nice, but it can get pretty boring after a while. Show him your naughty side too.

• Be Polite:  Be nice, good natured and polite. Not just to him, but to the people around you.

You can try to be pretentious and fake when you’re with him, but then, it’s not easy. Instead, learn to be a genuinely nice person and it’ll only make him want you more.

• Appreciate him: A guy who likes you may try very hard to please  and impress you. And if some guy’s trying to make you feel nice, appreciate the gesture.

Most girls take these things for granted, and over time, the guys will stop paying attention to them.

• Play hard to get: Always play hard to get if you want to make him like you. Knowing how to talk to a guy is easy, but knowing where to draw the line is not.

Speak to guys in a pleasant manner, but never let them take you for granted. And don’t ever be easily available. That only makes them take you lightly.

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