How does semen affect your skin?

There’s no shortage of all-natural, DIY #hacks when it comes to creating glowy skin that could potentially be seen from space.

One of those hacks that you may or may not have heard of involves semen, and rubbing it all over your face in the name of a dewy glow and skin that never ages a day past 22.

If this sounds sus to you, that’s because it truly is. Dr. Will Kirby, a dermatologist in Los Angeles, is here to debunk all the myths that someone (cough *men* cough) has been spreading about semen’s effect on your skin. Here’s what you need to know.

1. There’s protein in semen, which is good for you (#gains), but not nearly enough to actually make a difference at all.

It’s truethat protein does good things for your skin, hair, and nails. It’s also true that semen contains protein. What’s not true is that there’s enough protein in semen to provide any benefits for your skin, despite what former Cosmopolitan editor Helen Gurley Brown suggested long ago when she praised semen facials. Kirby also said there’s no evidence that topically applying protein to your skin would do any good, anyway.

2. There’s actually nothing in semen that has any benefits for your skin.

If having someone come on your face is what you’re ~into~, that’s great and fine. But if you’re only getting showered with jizz because you think it’s good for you, think again. “There is nothing in semen that has demonstrable skin benefits,” Kirby said. “Anyone who says otherwise is either misinformed or purposefully misleading you. Or is just a moron.”

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3. Actual semen facials exist,but are basically B.S. 

Certain terrifying corners of the beauty blogosphere have gone as far as creating semen facial tutorial videos. But just because something exists as a DIY video doesn’t mean you should ever actually DIY. “Much like semen itself, the legendary semen facial is a myth that seems to exist in a limitless supply,” Kirby said.

4. Yes, you can be allergic to semen.

So instead of making your skin look as fresh as it did the day you were born, going full semen facial could actually leave your skin irritated and dry. “There have been many case reports where an individual developed an allergy to one or more of the proteins in semen, which result in allergic contact dermatitis that is manifested by temporary redness and mild swelling on the skin where it’s applied,” Kirby said. The condition is called “human seminal plasma protein hypersensitivity,” and it’s very much a real thing.

5. Even when it’s just on your face, semen can still transmit STIs.

STIs like chlamydia aren’t just spread via penetrative sex. “Many people — even monogamous couples — have undiagnosed sexually transmitted infections that could be spread to the mucous membranes, your lips, nostrils, and eyes via topical application of male ejaculator for those seeking aesthetic improvement,” Kirby said. So sure, soft, smooth skin might be desirable, but it's probably not worth the risk of complications you didn't even know existed, like chlamydia of the eye, for example.