The Mirror's Health , Lifestyle and Fashion
Betrayal in relationship
Partners leave for any reason you can think about; it may be emotional, mental, social, financial, sexual or religious.
Advertisement
It happens among the old and young, rich and poor, educated and illiterates and even among those known to be highly religious.
Breakups are hardest when you may have invested heavily into it and least expect it to happen.
Fact, however, is that in some cases, the one you love most will leave you when you least expect it.
Imagine a recent case of an auto mechanic who took care of a young girl from the junior high school to the university with a clear understanding that they were going to marry in future.
Only one month after graduation, the girl sent him a message saying she was moving on to find her ’taste’.
The man has vowed to ‘show’ her through ‘African electronics’ or occultism.
Why betrayal in relationships?
Betrayal in a relationship is about being unfaithful or disloyal to the person you are supposed to be in love with.
It comes in many forms like going back on your word to stop something like substance abuse, multiple relationships, cheating, shifting attention from a relationship and breaking the covenant of marriage when you promised to love till death do you part.
Sometimes, betrayal is about being let down when you share all kinds of secrets and intimate details intended to be hidden because you thought your secrets will be safe with each other.
Both men and women betray their lovers but studies show men betray their lovers more than women.
Women love to be in relationship because it gives them emotional fulfillment, security and peace of mind.
A woman is more conforming and will sacrifice to hold on to a relationship and be totally committed to it.
A woman who loves really gives all her heart to grow her relationship.
Not so with men because many men see a relationship as a hobby.
What counts for most men is what they achieve in life carrier.
A man will, therefore, leave a relationship for frivolous reasons.
Studies again show if a woman expects 10 things in a relationship but gets two, she may stay and work at it but if a man expects 10 things but finds eight he may leave.
Men fear long term relationship, many fear it may fail and break down their self-esteem. Men!
In many cases, the problem of people constantly betraying their lovers is rooted in their early memories.
Many have experienced betrayal, let-down and abandonment and this leads them to believe lovers will abandon them again.
Ironically such people are attracted to lovers who have difficulties committing themselves to their relationship and are, therefore, likely to betray their lovers.
They think of betraying their lovers before their lovers betray them.
It is also a fact that today, many lovers leave for personal benefits like money, promotion, social status and the chance to travel abroad.
Effect of betrayal
Betrayal can cause trauma, hatred, jealousy, anger and revenge.
Sometimes, it causes depression and breaks down life goals.
You lose trust and commitment to future relationships. You find it hard to trust anyone.
All your hopes and dreams can be shattered by one act of betrayal.
The hurts build up to harm you physically, emotionally and mentally.
First feel the pain because you can never let go betrayal without feeling it.
Just withdrawing or believing you don’t care may worsen your situation.
Take responsibility for your part in the betrayal.
A relationship is a dance between two people.
Most of the time your partner merely reacts to the way you treat him or her.
If you are dishonest, immoral, critical or selfish your partner may respond by betraying you.
Find out what happened, what went wrong and if you did enough.
You may find there were tell-tale signs of betrayal which you overlooked.
Heal yourself by releasing the guilt and pain.
An easy and challenging way is to pray for a lover who betrays you.
It would be hard to be hurt and still pray for a lover who betrays you.
Forgiveness is the greatest cure against betrayal.
You, therefore, have to forgive yourself and lover unconditionally.
Learn the hard lessons of life that with human beings there are no guarantees; the one you love most and are prepared to put your life on the line for may betray you when you least expect it and when you need him or her most
Associate with friends who make you happy but accept that you are not totally responsible for your happiness.
Betrayal can be painful but it does not have to end your romantic life or life carrers.
If you handle your betrayal properly, you will come out stronger, wiser, happier and more resilient.
[email protected] 0208181861