Today it is common to hear some married couple say that they have never seen happiness since they got married.
To them, marriage is simply a process of exchanging your values and happiness for pain, loneliness and rejection.
Fact however is that marriage is the greatest gift of God and has amazing benefits physically, mentally and spiritually.
How to be happy in marriage
Develop a positive mental attitude: See yourself, your partner and marriage as good.
Good things would happen in your marriage because you see it as good.
Visualise good things in your marriage.
Put focus on yourself: Always appreciate that all marriages are difficult but one committed partner can make a happy marriage.
Work on your marriage each day and focus on the things that meet your partner’s needs.
A man needs respect, sex, an attractive wife and domestic care.
A woman needs affection, companionship, family commitment and financial support.
Marriage requires affection.
Emphasise the positive things in your partner and show gratitude: You must have loved your partner enough to marry him or her.
Keep talking about what you love about him or her.
This also means that you accept him or her without forcing him or her to change because it never works.
The more you show love to your partner, the more you motivate him or her to get better.
Avoid unrealistic expectation of a spouse being perfect and meeting all your needs: Fact is your lover cannot fix all your problems.
There are many things you may not like about your spouse and may think he or she is not the right person for you.
You may be tempted to live with pain and regret.
Ignore little annoying habits.
Find time to share your life together: Time together doing positive things bonds.
Make mutual decisions on your short, medium and long-term goals.
Keeping talking even if it’s about “toli” or joke in town.
Men must appreciate the fact that the best gift you can give to your woman under stress is listening to her concerns with empathy.
You may not understand what she says or may even see it as trivial.
Forgive unconditionally: Appreciate that because husband and wife have different backgrounds, temperaments and sexuality, it is impossible to have a marriage without conflicts.
Therefore, the fact that you have conflicts doesn’t mean there is something wrong with your marriage.
What is important is that you forgive each other unconditionally because forgiveness is the only key that restores your marriage and improves all areas of your life.
Be happy in the most difficult work
Many people see marriage as the most difficult work in the world because it is about two different people sharing all areas of life for life.
Some see marriage as the only type of war in which the two enemies sleep on the same bed.
That could be scary because anything could happen to you in your sleep!
Some believe you have a happy marriage when your good moments far outbalance your bad moments.
Others think happiness is about supporting your lover and being supportive or nice to him or her.
Fact is that it is God’s idea to make us happy in marriage if you play your roles well with positive agents such as effective communication, commitment, honesty and a forgiving spirit.
Again appreciate that happiness, however, is a state of mind.
You can therefore be happy even in a difficult situation.
Happiness is in you and does not lie in your marriage.
Choose to be happy in marriage and you would be happy.
This is what marriage offers and is meant to be.