Auntie Bettey: How do I make up with my friend?
Dear Auntie Betty, I am 14 years old and in Form Two.
I fought with my friend in December last year and we have not talked to each other since that day.
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We have, however, apologised to each other. I want to talk to her but do not know how to start a conversation.
Please help me.
Afia,
Bibiani.
Dear Afia, Since she is or was your friend, starting a conversation should be easy.
You have both taken the first step already - that is to apologise to each other - which is good. That means you have both accepted your faults and are ready to make amends.
I suggest you look for a day or time when she is in a good mood and just talk to her — anything that comes to mind. It could just be a simple “hello”, “how are you doing?” or give her a compliment.
You also know what she likes, what makes her laugh or what line of conversation she is interested in. You could explore that.
You should be ready for any reaction from her — she may easily warm up to you or recoil. If she is nice to you, then that sets the tone for both of you to start talking as you used to do. For all you know, she is also dying to talk to you.
However, do not be surprised if she rebuffs. Although that could be disheartening, I suggest you take it in good faith. You have to bear in mind that people react differently to situations and so you have to be patient.
You only have to continue to be nice to her whenever you meet. I am sure with time, she will come around.
In future when you have a disagreement with a friend or colleague, try to communicate to understand and respect each other’s views or resolve whatever issues you may have rather than being at loggerheads.
All the best.