During a recent practicum programme by students pursuing Bachelor of Education in Guidance and Counselling at the University of Education, Winneba, a resource person used a self-disclosure technique and claimed that he was introduced to homosexuality at the age of six, and this practice went on for two years without him informing anyone about it. The desire to continue with this homosexuality desire was again ignited during his early teens.
In the case of this resource person, it was during the latter part of his student life at a tertiary institution that he was assisted to come out of the practice, and today he advocates early education on sex for children.
Practicum is a graduate level course, often in a specialised field of study, in which students are supervised in practical application of a previously or concurrently studied theory. Practicums are common for courses in education, health and social work, among others. In some cases, the practicum may be a supervised day’s seminar, or part-time student teaching placement or community service that are organised in partial fulfilment for the award of a degree, placement or appointment.
A close observation of discussion among primary school pupils indicates that they have a good idea about gender roles, sex, sexual organs and their functions, pregnancy and childbirth. Many might have even observed male circumcision by a ‘wanzam’ or have knowledge of female genital mutilation.
Sex education has been a taboo among many ethnic groups in Ghana. Cultural and traditional practice prevents open discussion of matters relating to sexuality. In some cases, euphemisms are used to represent human organs such as penis, vagina, vulva, breasts and buttocks and what these are used for. In our culture, open kissing and embracing between a male and a female are frowned upon.
But through the media, Internet technology and television, many children have observed these, and know many more of these than their parents, when the parents were younger. One 10-year-old boy once told an aunt that whenever he sees a male and a female embracing or kissing on television, he feels like urinating. Either boy or girl, such children could be taken advantage of in their innocence by child molesters if they are not counselled very early in their lives.
Who should teach sex education?
The question now is who should teach sex education, and at what age? Parents, teachers or peer educators? According to the book: The Secret To Family Happiness, children who know little about sex are especially vulnerable to child molesters, so a major preventive step is to educate the child, even when he is still young.
Knowledge can provide protection “from the bad way, from the man speaking perverse things.” The onerous lie on parents, since they are the first contact of the child, and they can shape the education and upbringing of their children.
Some children think faster, and can ask sometimes embarrassing questions about sex openly. Explaining issues of sex need not be as difficult as many parents imagine. Children become aware of their body parts and their functions very early. Actually, the questions come in piecemeal, as the child reaches different stages of his development. As different stages are reached, parents need to supply the proper vocabulary and very simple, general or specific explanations.
A medical doctor who specialised in neurology and psychosexual theorist Sigmund Freud, classified the psychosexual stage of human development into five main stages. These are (i) the oral stage: from birth to 18 months, (ii) the anal stage: 18 months to three years (iii) the phallic stage: three to six years (iv) the latency stage: six years to puberty and (v) the genital stage: beyond puberty.
After analysing Sigmund Freud’s psychosocial stages, two lecturers in Educational Psychology, S. O. Frimpong and P. A. K Amissah points out that “over-or-under-gratification of any of the psychosexual stages (especially the first three) may lead to fixation, which is a preoccupation with one particular aspect of psychosexual development that may interfere with subsequent stages.” At all of these stages, there are sources of pleasure, conflict, challenges and action that needs to be taken and addressed by parents or counsellors.
Satisfying Children curiosity
One question which embarrasses some parents is when their children ask them ‘Where do babies come from?’ The book Making Your Family life Happy answers that question by suggesting to parents to say ‘They grow inside their mothers.’
A child at a particular age will be satisfied with that. But when pressed further as to how a baby develops inside the mother, and how it comes out, a parent can say, ‘if a father and a mother want to have a baby, they sleep in a special way, then a seed from the father meets an egg cell in the mother and a baby starts to grow, like a seed in the ground will grow into a flower or a tree.’
As to how the seed gets into the mother, parents can say ‘You know how a boy is. He has a penis. The girl has an opening in her body that it fits into. People are made that way so that babies can be started and grow in the mother, and finally come out as a baby.’ But one has to grow and be a matured person to experience this. Such loving explanations from parents will satisfy a curious child, and children will not hesitate to approach their loving parents for sex education.
Parents have the responsibility to teach their children the names of parts of their sexual organs in the language that the child best understands and the prohibition not to allow any other person to have access to it. Children should be encouraged to communicate with their parents, otherwise unscrupulous persons may take advantage of their innocence.
Psychologists have suggested ways in which parents can communicate well with their children. For instance, parents should make it clear to their children that they (the children) are part of the family and their interests and needs will definitely be taken care of. A parent should pay utmost attention to the child who wants to discuss any issue with him or her.
Embarrassing a child either publicly or privately puts them to shame, and he/she may never come out to communicate with the parent, and develop hostile attitude toward the parents. Since children are so excited when they are commended for their achievements, parents should not delay in doing so.
When parents spend quality time with their children, most of the challenges that they go through will be minimised, if not eliminated. Spending time to give a child an undivided attention in order to strengthen the loving relationship will make a lasting impression on any child. Training and education of children, in whatever form, is the responsibility of the parent. The Bible (Proverbs chapter 26 verse 6) commands parents: ‘Train up your child according to the way best for him; even when he grows old he will not turn aside from it’.
The writer holds a B.Ed., Guidance and Counselling and Diploma in Communication Studies.
