A Romance With Chronic Pain: A Review by Esi Arhin
You’re about to find out why pain is not an enemy but rather a reminder of our strength, resilience and tenacity
of purpose.
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The pages of "A Romance with Chronic Pain" invite you to explore pain in a dimension seldom acknowledged,
despite its pervasive presence in our lives, whether physical, emotional, or otherwise.
We often gauge pain using the one-to-ten scale, a reference familiar to medical authorities. This book delves into that.
For nearly four decades, Juliana Ama Kplorfia silently grapples with chronic pain, a shadow ever-present in her
life.
Behind the facade of her radiant smile and crimson lipstick lay a world of agony. Her story unravels how
chronic pain reaches far beyond the physical, interfering not only with daily routines but also robbing her of the
joys she yearned for, ultimately leading her down the dark path of anxiety and depression, where thoughts of
escape became all too familiar.
Born into a society where women pride themselves on enduring strength, "Amavi," as she was known, learns to
defy expectations, bearing her pain alone as neither her family nor community extended empathy. Labeled as
"lazy" and burdened with various stigmas, she found solace in her mother's tales of resilient female ancestors
who surpassed men. Despite relentless pain, "Amavi" remained undeterred, her eyes set on an unmarried
relative who embodied independence and strength.
Throughout her formal education, painkillers became her allies, offering brief respite but exacting a toll on her
liver due to excessive consumption. In her journey, the author elucidates how chronic pain intertwined with her
career, marriages, motherhood, friendships, finances, and her fervent mission to empower young girls.
As a Public Policy, Gender Inclusion, and Project Management consultant, she navigates her responsibilities
while battling chronic pain, emerging not only as a survivor but a high achiever. Her two marriages, both
ending in divorce, are shadowed by the relentless presence of chronic pain. The pain of losing her second
marriage, which initially shows promise, nearly breaks her spirit, but she discovers resilience within herself.
Motherhood brings its own unique form of pain, compounded by surgeries and her struggle to fulfill her vision
of being a hands-on mother. Heart-rending moments include her sons knocking on her bedroom door, yearning
for their mother's attention while she is locked into pain and suffering in silence.
Poor health and financial woes test her resolve, revealing the profound impact of pain on one's finances.
Women, by nature, endure various forms of pain. Research has shown that females often bear a heavier burden
of chronic pain than males.
Women live with pain, know pain, understand pain but apparently not according to Kplorfia's experience.
There are indeed levels of pain far above what most of us experience physically.
As a woman who knows and understands pain I still can only distantly relate to the kind of pain the author
endeavours to capture for us. The magnitude of debilitating pain defies conventional understanding.
This book is a testament to the author's life experience with chronic pain, emphasizing the importance of
acknowledging and supporting those who voice their pain. It offers insights into handling adversity, seeking
solutions, and finding reasons to live, regardless of the pain we face.
For Kplorfia's debut, " A Romance with Chronic Pain" masterfully sheds light on living with chronic pain.
It addresses critical concerns like reduced quality of life, diminished productivity, financial hardships, and
mental health challenges. It does so not from a standpoint of self-pity but from that of courage in confronting
the enigma of chronic pain. This is a story of tenacity, perseverance, and unyielding hope.
The author's narrative challenges you to embrace a can-do spirit, even as you confront your fears and
vulnerabilities. It leaves you contemplating pain in a way you never imagined. Chronic pain although a constant
companion in Kplorfia's life, she does not allow its rigours to extinguish the light within her.
The cover photo, depicting burning lower back pain against a serene seaside backdrop, encapsulates the essence
of the book— pain, compassion and the pursuit of tranquility.
You will be impressed upon, that living with chronic pain may change everything about a person's life, but it
does not and should not define who you are.
If you or a loved one struggles with chronic pain, this journey awaits, offering inspiration and empowerment to
lift your spirits.
