If ever there were a killer that has devastated more people on earth in peace time than in times of military conflicts, that killer is unforgivingness.

Let’s find out what relationship exists between our health and the emotional energy of forgiveness, or its opposite, unforgivingness. First read the following episodes.

On October 2, 2006, a gunman, Charles Roberts, went to an Amish school in Pennsylvania, took hostages and shot 10 girls (aged 6–13), killing five, before committing suicide in the schoolhouse.

On the day of the shooting, a grandfather of one of the murdered Amish girls was heard warning some young relatives not to hate the killer, saying, "I don't think there's anybody here that wants to do anything but forgive and not only reach out to those who have suffered a loss in that way but to reach out to the family of the man who committed these acts."

The Amish family lived true to their ethos, and the response of the wife of the attacker says what the Amish did.

“Our family wants each of you to know that we are overwhelmed by the forgiveness, grace, and mercy that you’ve extended to us. Your love for our family has helped to provide the healing we so desperately need.

The prayers, flowers, cards, and gifts you’ve given have touched our hearts in a way no words can describe.

Your compassion has reached beyond our family, beyond our community, and is changing our world, and for this we sincerely thank you.”

A lady who had a lung infection that caused breathing difficulties and was not responding to treatment requested a prayer for healing. It was done, but nothing happened.

The praying team was led to Proverbs 18:14 "The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear?

What happened was that when the woman was a child, a man took advantage of her Grandmother, who was wheel-chair bound and made love to her!

She swore as a child that she would never forgive him and she still hated him with a passion. When it was impressed on her that unless she forgave she would receive no healing, she consented and,          after much prayers and counselling, she had the spirit to forgive, and forgave him.

Then and only then did her healing began. She breathed freely.

The author of “We Have Your Husband”, Jayne Valseca, and her husband, Eduardo, were in Mexico in 2007, when they were kidnapped.

She managed to escape, but her husband was kept and tortured for seven months. Valseca eventually negotiated his release, yet she had trouble moving on from the ordeal.  She did not forgive the kidnappers.

What eventuated was that she came down with what doctors described as a stage four breast cancer. She could not let go of the past. At age 45, the breast cancer killed her.

In these three episodes, we see the effect of unconditional forgiveness in the life of the Amish; we see how healing took place only after forgiveness had intervened; then we see how premature death ensued because of unforgivingness.

What is there about unforgivingness, that it is so devastating on the human organism?  Why must we forgive, when we have been wronged, hurt, abused, cheated, and defamed?

According to medical scientists, there are two enzymes called anti-unconogens in each cell tied to the immune system.

The immune system protects the body from harmful substances that would otherwise disturb it. When you start to brood on hatred against an individual who has wronged you, and focus on that with resentment, anger, retaliation, bitterness, and unforgivingness, your body begins to produce toxins or harmful chemical substances that eventually destroy the anti-oncogenes, opening up the body for attack of cancer, or any disease for that sake.

Various researches have been conducted by scientists, medical doctors and psychologists on the effect of unforgivingness on the human body, and I shall merely give the summary of some of their findings.

According to the Virginia Commonwealth University, chronic unforgivingness causes stress. Every time people think of their transgressor, their body responds. By decreasing unforgivingness one cuts down ones health risk. Forgiveness actually strengthens the immune system.

In another study conducted by Dr Frederic Luskin, from Stanford University, 259 people living in the city of San Francisco attended six one-and-a-half-hour sessions, during when the subjects had lessons on forgiveness.

The subjects of the experiments stated that they suffered less after forgiving people who had wronged them.

The research showed that people who learned to forgive feel much better, not only emotionally but also physically.

It was established that after the experiment psychological and physical symptoms such as stress-related backache, insomnia and stomachaches were significantly reduced in these individuals.

The relationship between our state of mind and diseases has been observed by Ralph Waldo Trine, in his book, “In Tune with the Infinite”:

“No disease can enter into or take hold of our bodies unless it finds therein something corresponding to itself which makes it possible. And in the same way, no evil or undesirable condition of any kind can come into our lives unless there is already in them that which invites it and so makes it possible for it to come.”

The desirable act of forgiving people who offend you sometimes requires divine Grace to effect the change of heart of the offender, because some experiences are excruciating. An American woman had to pray for divine grace to forgive a murderer who kicked her husband to death. She sat with him face to face and forgave him, and led him to Christ!

Mind you, to forgive does not mean to forget. You may remember the offending event all right, but the bitterness of the event is no more in your heart. In forgiveness, you also don’t have to free the offender of responsibility.

What it means is that he must be made to know and accept that he acted wrongly in a matter. You could even allow the law to have its way, but you forgive the offender by letting him know you have nothing against him. 

We must not also forget that there are times when we must forgive ourselves, especially when we have consciously done something offensive to our conscience.

Self-forgiveness is preliminary to asking forgiveness from God. If you don’t forgive yourself, God will not forgive you!

What must you do when you hurt someone? Say the magic words: “I am sorry”. Say it genuinely and immediately you realise you’re wrong.

Depending on the gravity of the wrong, ask a friend or elderly person to go along with you and ask for forgiveness. Sometimes, you could send a card, or a gift which says you’re sorry. All these work positively; use them. On the other hand, if you allow pride and vanity to have the better of you, know that, sooner or later, things would start going bad for you!

Truly did Alexander Pope write: “To err is human, to forgive divine.” When you forgive others you please God, who also forgives your trespasses (Lord’s Prayer). Forgiveness makes us act from our higher, divine selves; unforgivingness degrades us. Forgiveness heals; unforgivingness punishes and destroys. Forgiveness builds families; unforgivingness destroys. 

Forgiveness, as a manifestation of love, has a tremendous effect on us, and this is how Ralph Waldo Trine puts it:

“Every thought you entertain is a force that goes out, and every thought comes back laden with its kind. This is an immutable law. Every thought you entertain has moreover a direct effect upon your body. Love and its kindred emotions are the normal and the natural, those in accordance with the eternal order of the universe, for God is love. These have a life-giving, health-engendering influence upon your body, besides beautifying your countenance, enriching your voice, and making you ever more attractive in every way”.

Has your spouse walked out on you? Has your spouse cheated on you? Have your children been ungrateful and abandoned you?  Has your employer unjustly denied you promotion? Or have you been wrongfully dismissed? Have you too offended someone? What about your own values? Have you compromised them? Forgive each other! And forgive yourself too. Forgive and live long! Forgive and live healthily! Life is beautiful. Love and forget wrongs!

NB: Ghana Medical Association and individuals should share their experiences on this subject.

Article by Ahumah Ocansey

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