In Ghanaian culture and tradition, the main focus in life is to marry, have children and raise a family to preserve the human race.
Marriage is therefore a sacred duty, and every adult is expected to marry. The Akans have an axiom, “wiase yɛtra no baano, baano” (human beings live in pairs in this world).
Adults who marry are therefore respected, but those who do not marry often receive less respect, irrespective of what they have achieved, because they are assumed to have committed a major social offence.
Akans, for example, call bachelors sugyani, to wit, one who fetches fire to cook. Cooking is traditionally reserved for women, so a man who cooks is sometimes described as a ‘woman’ and may not earn much respect.
It is also a fact that in the past, the greater the number of wives a man had, the greater the respect he earned in society.
Marriage is, therefore, highly respected in our society, and most Ghanaians desire to marry. For example, a study showed that by age 40, only one per cent of Ghanaian women would never have married.
Nothing satisfies a woman more than wearing a wedding ring and being addressed as ‘Mrs’. Marriage gives a woman great emotional security and fulfilment.
Many cases involve women who, despite seeing red flags that should have warned them against marrying certain men, went ahead with the marriages because they had been promised a lavish wedding.
Why single life?
Many adults in Ghana are single due to circumstances. The cost of living is high, and many cannot afford more than one meal a day.
The cost of traditional and ordinance marriage rites, accommodation, household maintenance and raising children is beyond what many can reasonably afford.
It is also known that some women are never approached with marriage proposals, while some men are highly selective and say they have not found suitable partners.
In addition to those who are forced into singlehood through divorce or the loss of a spouse, there are also traditional barriers, under which some adults are expected to wait for their elder siblings to marry before they can marry.
Some also stay single by choice because it is more convenient for their life ambitions. Some have gone through very bad marriages and withdraw, afraid of subsequent failures. What is attractive about marriage when there are high levels of divorce and unhappy marriages?
It is also known that some people choose to remain single out of fear of losing what they have worked hard to acquire.
Having built their wealth and acquired properties, they fear that a spouse could come into their lives, enjoy their wealth and eventually take control of their property at the expense of their relatives.
It must also be acknowledged that, in Ghana, some people enter marriages with the intention of acquiring property for their extended families.
We can also add that some people are naturally inclined towards celibacy. They have little or no desire for sex and may have emotional challenges that make it difficult for them to relate to the opposite sex.
Others may experience gender or sexual identities that make relationships and marriage more complicated for them.
There has also been a cultural shift driven by foreign influence and changing lifestyles. Life in Ghana is no longer what it used to be. Gone are the days when women would gather to discuss men, relationships and children.
Today, conversations increasingly centre on personal accomplishments, life goals, public policy and careers. For many, being in a relationship no longer appears to carry the same importance it once did.
For some, relationships have become largely transactional, with greater emphasis placed on what each person has and what they can offer.
The Good of single life
Being single does not necessarily mean there is something wrong with you. Instead, single life gives people more freedom and independence to pursue their interests, passions and the work they care about most.
You develop a greater sense of autonomy and may experience personal growth. You answer to no one or consult someone before making important decisions.
You get what you want, go where you want and get to bed when you want. You also have more control over your time and therefore have more time to better yourself.
You may have less drama, and you do not have to be constantly judged or scrutinised over your actions or differences in opinion.
It is significant to note that some successful and high-achieving women are single because singlehood gives them the opportunity to fully develop and utilise their talents and abilities.
Single adults may also have greater control over their finances and greater freedom to make decisions about their lives. For some people, living single is a fulfilling choice that allows them to live their best, most authentic and meaningful lives. Independence can be both attractive and gratifying.
A single person does not have to tolerate another person’s habits for life. He or she can therefore stabilise his or her emotions without constantly having to act to impress a partner.
Some also argue that we can get some of the benefits of marriage without actually marrying. For example, some studies suggest that singles may have more frequent sexual activity than married people. So why buy a cow and worry about its maintenance if you can get free milk?
Some argue that single women are healthier. For example, a study published in the Journal of Women’s Health in 2017 found differences in health indicators between single and married women, including BMI and waist size.
Again, a study involving 11,000 Canadians and 33,000 Italians in their 70s found differences in health outcomes between single and married people.
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