Do married men make better lovers?

BY: Samuel K. Obour

Today, it has become fashionable for many women to get into relationships with married men and some dare to go as far as they can. 

In  the case of a 33-year-old woman, she has been in relationships with only married men. When she got pregnant with the eighth man, the man insisted on an abortion but she refused.  

For six years now, she has never seen the man again and has to take care of her child single-handedly.

The interesting thing is that if this woman decides to get into a relationship, chances are she will ignore single men and go in for a married man. She has grown to feel secure and comfortable with married men. Some call this an obsessive compulsive order.

Why a married man?

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Married men are experienced in handling women. They are patient and tolerant. They make relationships exhilarating, exciting and passionate. They will provide you with your needs. 

A woman’s greatest need is affection. A married man will treat you like a queen. He is prepared to take you where single men wouldn’t.

 Fact is, when a married man gets into infidelity, his intelligent quotient (IQ) is halved and he cannot think rationally. 

This explains why a man will build a house for a girlfriend while he stays in a government bungalow or why a man will buy a ticket for his girlfriend to travel abroad when his own wife has no travelling documents. 

Some men never go out with their wives but are always everywhere with their girlfriends. Men!

Some take married men just to exploit them. Some want recognition. Just the fact that she is going out with a popular married man gives her a social status symbol. 

Some actually want to get to the wife. She wants to prove that she is better and may make desperate attempts to unseat the wife.

Do married men make better lovers?

It is tempting to think that married men make better lovers. He tells you he loves you better than his wife and, sadly, studies show 60 per cent of women believe this lie. 

Fact, however, is that a man is not looking for someone better but someone different to spice up his life. If you are not there, he may be with another woman. In fact, your replacement could be sooner than you think.

He may tell you he will leave his wife for you. Some women also believe it and hope that very soon they will be the ‘madam’. He will keep giving excuses for not sending her away. 

Fact is, he has invested so much to build his life around his family and will not sacrifice them for you. No matter what he says or what you think, you will remain second to his family. He does not lose anything.

You have only a one per cent chance that he will leave his wife for you but even if he does, the chances of your marriage failing is five times higher. 

Relationships built on deception have no foundation. You both know you are capable of cheating. Selfishness ends in destruction.

Being in a relationship with a married man is not a picnic.  You have to restrict yourself only to when he can sneak around. You cannot openly express your emotions to your friends and family members. 

You will not find him when you need him most and you cannot have him all to yourself. Studies show that a majority of women with married lovers have pain, anguish, despair, loss of self-esteem, depression, betrayal and loneliness. 

You must also know that what goes around comes out. Do you want to marry and have children one day? If your marriage were in trouble, would you want someone to help you or destroy you? 

Never do what you do not want others do to you. If you get into a relationship with a married man, one thing is for sure — in the end, both will lose. 

Married men never make better lovers. They make bitter lovers.

By John Boakye

E-mail: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. the writer is the Director of Eudoo Counselling Centre, West Legon. He is also the author of ‘Your Guide to Marriage’ and ‘Love Unlimited’