The Mirror's Health , Lifestyle and Fashion
Do you have close friends of the opposite sex?
Our Maker puts something in us that draws us to others in all kinds of relationships, including friendship with the opposite sex.
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A good friend will tell you what you need to know because he wants the best from you.
He will admonish you and give you good counsel.
Good friends stay closer like siblings.
Good friends enrich your life.
Friends come in different shades.
Some are single, some married. Some are young, others elderly. Some may be poor, others rich.
Some may be of same sex as you.
The biggest challenge is how to handle friends of the opposite sex when you are married or in a serious relationship.
Danger of friendship with opposite sex
A man is always attracted to a woman and a woman to a man.
You cannot completely trust your human nature.
Sometimes, simple activities like hugging, sharing a drink, walk, phone calls, gifts can potentially trigger a feeling of romance. What starts on an innocent note as platonic friends can lead to an illicit affair.
A man by nature loves to help a woman.
He gets to know your problems.
He exaggerates them and makes you feel he can help you.
As you get closer things start “knocking things” and you may fall faster than you think.
Fact is some use friendship as a stepping stone to romantic relationship.
Most men who want to be friends actually want something sexual.
Unfortunately, most women do not understand a man’s mind and way of thinking.
What seems innocent to a woman can arouse a man.
He may keep his feelings for you and strike when you least expect it.
Friends of the opposite sex have been a breeding ground for jealousy and mistrust.
You may spend long periods together and share secrets with your friend and sometimes even give him priority over your lover.
No doubt friendship with the opposite sex has been a major cause of relationship breakups because friends of the opposite sex tend to come between relationships in unhealthy ways.
In having friends of the opposite sex, you risk people talking behind your back and spreading rumours.
Accepting gifts or lifts regularly could raise eyebrows and you have no chance to clear yourself.
Many experts believe that it is advisable not to have very close friends of the opposite sex, especially the single ones or ex-lovers because of the potential dangers they pose.
Relationship comes at a price and avoiding close friendship with the opposite sex is part of the cost.
How to handle friends of the opposite sex
Set the ground rules and boundaries: Agree with your lover to have friends of the opposite sex.
If your lover does not want it; give it up.
It is important you are respectful, considerate, understanding and sensitive to your lover’s feelings.
Make sure your lover knows it and is comfortable.
Do not keep secrets about your friends of the opposite sex.
Do not stay together for long periods: Do not spend extended one-on-one time over discussions, drinks, meals, phone calls. And surely do not have secret e-mails.
As far as possible, never meet anywhere without your lover.
Avoid talking about intimate details of your relationships.
Tell your lover about your meetings before others tell him.
Check for warning signs: These include expensive and romantic gifts, invitation to romantic nights without your lover. Some friends may keep talking badly of your lover and may even compete with him.
Never provide an opportunity that may lead you to compromise on your fidelity. In all situations make your lover the topmost priority.
Do you have friends of the opposite sex?
The effect of your friends of the opposite sex will depend on the nature of your friendship and the health of your relationship.
They can destroy your relationship.
Therefore, if you feel your friendship is leading you to unsafe grounds, it may be better to give it up.
A good relationship is the best thing that could happen to you.
Therefore, avoiding friendship with the opposite sex is part of the cost of a fulfilling relationship with your lover; on the other hand, your friendship with the opposite sex if properly handled with boundaries, trust, faithfulness and respect, can enhance your relationship.
Your friends of the opposite sex should heal and grow your relationship.
Never allow them to destroy you and your relationship.
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