My expereince: The other side of life (II)
When the programme was over, they went back to their school and all I could think was him and him alone.
He used to write to me every week and some of my mates envied me because they didn’t receive letters as often as I did.
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We talked about our love and other things and we were so happy. Although we were far apart I felt much loved and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.
Sometimes I took exeat and went to visit him and he also came to visit me during visiting hours.
TK stopped writing suddenly when we reached form 3. I wrote to him several times but he never replied my letters. Since we were preparing to write our final exams, we weren’t allowed to take exeat so I sent Thelma, my 'school daughter' who sneaked out one siesta and delivered the letter to him. I hoped she would come back with a reply.
Thelma came back and said TK was so busy that he asked her to leave the letter with his friends so she had to come back without even seeing him.
I accepted this in good faith and tried very hard to concentrate on my books but I was deceiving myself.
I couldn’t concentrate, eat or sleep well and it took a toll on me. I became very thin and I remember my mum one day visited me and told to have enough rest so I don't break down during the exams. If only she knew what was eating me up.
The last straw came when I was helping Thelma pack her things. The juniors had vacated but we the final year students were left in the school to write our final exams.
A paper fell from one of her notebooks and as I bent down to pick it up, something caught my attention. What I saw dazed me suddenly. It was a love letter TK had written to Thelma.
I tried to maintain my composure but it was doing me no good. Thelma tried to explain I didn't want to hear any of it. I just went straight to my bed cried till I could cry no more.
I thought I was the only one TK loved, but I didn't know I was fooling myself. I remember my friends once warned me that he was of no good but I was too much in love that I didn't care what they were saying. I thought they were just jealous.
Throughout the period of my exams, I wasn’t eating, sleeping nor drinking so you can imagine what I was studying when I couldn’t think straight. All I was thinking about was TK and all the pain he had caused me.
I almost forgot that I had exams to write. I wrote my papers alright but it was as if someone else wrote them for me.
When I heard our results were in, I needed no soothsayer to tell me I had failed my all papers.
My parents asked me when I would be going for my results and I told them my school authorities said we should wait for some time for them to sort out some issues.
Later my parents became fed up of my cooked up stories and my dad suggested we all went to the school to find out what was happening. This is why I was so nervous.
My dad took my result slip, frowned and told us to get in the car. I had failed and had obtained what we termed as “F in chains”.
I was a promising student with big dreams, so principled and knew what I wanted in life but allowed my urge to see the unknown to take the better part of my secondary education. My three years could be best described as wasted years.
I thought I was in love. In fact I so much wanted to experience the “love at first sight” kind of thing that I often read about in novels.
Now see what I have done to myself. We were in car heading towards home now. Can you guess what will happen to me when we finally get home? You guess is as good as mine.