Once upon a time in the Republic of Uncommon Sense, the government decided that Ghanaian motorists had enjoyed too much freedom on the roads. Some treated speed limits as advice from elderly relatives, deserving respect but not necessarily obedience. Others regarded traffic lights as Christmas decorations, beautiful to behold but entirely optional.
So government introduced TraffiTech, hoping cameras would accomplish what policemen, road signs and decades of public education had struggled to achieve.
Brilliant idea! Cameras do not accept apologies, recognise party colours or appreciate the importance of a driver's uncle being a Deputy Minister.
Unfortunately, Ghana's fraudsters were also watching.
And being patriotic citizens with an extraordinary appetite for business opportunities, they apparently decided that government should not enjoy a monopoly over collecting money from frightened motorists.
Thus was born Ghana's newest potential growth industry:
Traffic Fine Entrepreneurship!
For years, our enterprising fraudsters had promised unsuspecting citizens foreign visas, miraculous investments, parcels of gold and romantic relationships with wealthy strangers abroad.
But every industry must innovate or perish. Why promise somebody an inheritance from a dead millionaire in London when you can simply inform him that his Toyota Corolla has offended the Republic?
No complicated love story. No inheritance documents. Just a threatening message, an alleged traffic offence and instructions to pay before trouble arrives.
Indeed, the Ghana Police Service and Cyber Security Authority have warned motorists about fraudulent traffic penalty notices and fake payment websites.
*In the Republic of Uncommon Sense, even criminality believes in public-private partnership!* 😂
Now consider the ordinary Ghanaian motorist.
He is travelling at 50 kilometres per hour, glancing nervously at his speedometer as though it contains the examination results of his firstborn.
Suddenly, an aboboyaa carrying enough merchandise to establish a branch of Kejetia Market overtakes him with the confidence of a presidential convoy.
Three motorcycles follow, demonstrating that road markings are merely artistic expressions on asphalt.
Then his telephone announces the arrival of a traffic penalty.
Ei! 😳
Was it yesterday? Last Tuesday? Perhaps the day he accelerated slightly to escape an impatient truck whose driver appeared to believe that brakes were invented for cowards.
But is the message genuine?
One friend advises him to ignore it. Another warns that he could be prosecuted. A third recommends visiting the police station. A fourth suggests consulting the official website.
By the time our gentleman finishes his consultations, he has spent enough airtime to finance a small telecommunications company.
And he still doesn't know whether he owes government money or whether some unemployed entrepreneur is attempting to collect a private tax!
Our ancestors warned that when two elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers. In modern Ghana, however, the elephants have discovered mobile money, and the grass is being asked to enter its PIN!
Perhaps Ghana should introduce a compulsory examination for motorists.
ADVANCED TRAFFIC FINE AUTHENTICATION
Question One: You receive a message claiming that your vehicle exceeded the speed limit. What should you do?
A. Pay immediately before the police arrest your ancestors.
B. Forward the message to your family WhatsApp group for collective interpretation.
C. Consult your pastor to determine whether the offence is physical or spiritual.
D. Verify the notice through the officially authorised channel.
Naturally, the correct answer is D. Unfortunately, many citizens may have exhausted A, B and C before discovering D!
The truth is that Ghana needs effective traffic enforcement. But when citizens cannot easily distinguish genuine penalties from fraudulent demands, technology becomes an invitation to confusion.
Government must make verification simple and public education unmistakable.
Otherwise, motorists will ignore genuine penalties because they suspect fraud, while others will pay criminals because they fear prosecution.
The criminal wins either way!
And so, in the Republic of Uncommon Sense, government is pursuing speeding motorists, fraudsters are pursuing frightened motorists, and frightened motorists are pursuing somebody who can explain which pursuit is legitimate.
Perhaps the next generation of traffic cameras should detect not only speeding vehicles but also speeding fraudsters.
For in a country where even a traffic fine can be counterfeit, the only thing travelling faster than the motorist is the criminal's imagination.
And unlike the unfortunate driver, that imagination appears to have no speed limit! 😂🚦
QUESTION FOR THE REPUBLIC: 🤣
If you received a suspicious TraffiTech fine today, who would you consult first: the Police, your pastor or your family WhatsApp group?
#RepublicOfUncommonSense #JimmyAglah #TraffiTech #GhanaSatire #RoadSafety
Jimmy Aglah writes for the Republic of Uncommon Sense, where common sense is a scarce commodity, absurdity is government policy, and irony is the only thing that never goes on strike.
