Being in a relationship should mean having a partner who’s also your equal. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. When the scales are out of balance, it’s only a matter of time until the relationship is left teetering on the edge of a breakup.
Here are 10 dead giveaways you’re being taken advantage of.
1. They refuse to define the relationship
If you’re more than ready to have the talk, yet your partner has been dragging his or her feet for far too long, you’re probably being taken advantage of. It’s time to stop making excuses for them. Quit waiting around, and let your partner know that making it official is what you’re after.
2. They’re preoccupied with someone else
We’re not talking about a little innocent flirting every once in a while. While every relationship is different, one thing that’s definitely not OK is giving all your time and attention to someone who’s not your partner. Regardless of what kind of bond you and your partner have, every relationship has some sort of boundaries in place. Whatever those are for you, they need to be respected. A partner who’s preoccupied with someone else doesn’t have your best interests in mind.
3. Your partner is perfect only when you’re alone
Everyone wants someone they can be proud of. Or, at the very least, someone they can take out in public. Feeling confident with your significant other is a sure sign you two, at least for right now, are in a great place. So, heed caution when this isn’t the case. As The Bolde says, “He might be perfect when you’re alone between the sheets, but is he willing to be seen with you in the street? If the answer is no, RUN.” We couldn’t agree more.
4. They never make time for you
It’s crucial for any relationship to survive. After all, the reason you two got together in the first place was because you enjoyed each other’s company. Making time for your partner is imperative. It’s not fair for you to be the one constantly trying to make plans. Much like friendships, romantic relationships are a two-way street. If your partner isn’t putting in the effort to actually spend time with you, it’s time to reconsider.
5. You work harder at the relationship
Relationships are about give and take, and if you’re the one doing all the work, it’s clear your partner is taking advantage of your good nature. According to YourTango, any relationship requires some reciprocity. If yours doesn’t, it’s time to sever ties. There’s no reason you should be putting in 150% when your partner’s only making the bare minimum.
6. They guilt you into things you don’t want to do
When equality within a relationship is out of whack, it can often seem like one person is calling all the shots. Do you ever feel guilted into doing things you really have zero interest in doing? If so, it’s quite possible your partner is taking advantage of you. Even if your willingness to allow your significant other to make all the decisions stems from a certain neediness, it’s still unacceptable.
7. They pay more attention to your appliances than you
This one’s a no-brainer, but Match.com says it’s a problem when a partner only comes over to do his or her laundry or gets more use out of your full kitchen than, say, the bedroom. Clearly, someone using you for your material possessions isn’t your best match. These signs may sound easy to spot, but that’s not always the case. Be on the lookout if you suspect this may be happening to you.
8. They’re constantly asking for favors
Does it seem as though your partner is always cashing in on huge requests, yet is reluctant to do even the smallest of favors for you? If this is the case, Bustle says they’re obviously not around for the right reasons. They should put in the same effort when you need something, too.
9. It’s all about their needs
According to FamilyShare, you should proceed with caution if your partner never asks how your day was. Or they never “go out of their way to make sure you are genuinely doing OK.” Your partner should engage in your life by asking questions about what’s going on with you. If this isn’t happening, they clearly think everything’s about them, and likely don’t care much about you.
10. Your self-esteem declines and you feel unappreciated
It’s only natural to want to feel appreciated, especially by your partner. After all, this is the one person you’ve decided to spend time with. Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D., writes in Psychology Today, “Regrettably, in many marriages the end result is that such a person experiences a loss of self-respect and positive self-regard generally. They may begin to view themselves as less worthy than they had prior to the relationship.” Feeling good about yourself is imperative for any healthy relationship, so if yours is making you feel less than, it’s time to head for the hills. You deserve much, much more.