HOW do you know your relationship is in a good place? Every relationship is different, as are the people in those relationships. But there are core tenets that seem to be present in all healthy relationships.
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How you specifically go about checking these boxes off is still subject to your own interpretation, though. What works for one couple might not work for you, but as long as you're both happy and feel respected, that's enough!
1. You don’t stress when they’re out with friends. It doesn’t matter that they’re away from you. You trust them to make smart decisions and you know they’re not going to put your relationship in jeopardy.
You can go to bed without waiting up for them. You don’t feel the need to text them every 10 minutes, or call hoping to catch them out. They might be out doing their own thing, but you know they'll come back to you.
2. You don’t feel like you need to snoop on their phone. Some people are just born snoopers. It’s in their blood.
But you know you don’t need to go swiping away at their phone when they’re in the shower. The only thing you’ll find are cute photos of the two of you together.
3. You support each other, but you don’t need the other person for support. There’s a difference between bolstering and encouraging each other and creating a toxic relationship where you really and truly need each other.
Healthy couples also understand that they’re also strong individually. Having your partner's support is just icing on the cake.
4. You don’t flip out over tiny mistakes. Sure, you can get on each other’s nerves (especially if you live together). But you’re also not constantly bickering over whose turn it is to take out the garbage.
5. You appreciate what you do for each other. Not only do you appreciate what you both bring to the relationship, but you express that appreciation to each other. It doesn't feel corny to let your partner know that you notice their support.
6. If you have a fight, you resolve it. Everyone fights. The best couples fight. Oprah and Stedman fight. The difference is that strong couples resolve the issue. They try to understand their partner’s point even if they don’t agree with it.
7. You still make time for dates. “Date” can be defined a lot of ways, especially as you get older and have kids. It can be tough to fit in long romantic walks on the beach, or candlelit late-night dinners.
But you make a point to spend quality time with each other, even if that candlelit dinner is in your own dining room.
8. You can still make each other laugh. You and your partner still crack each other up. You can be goofy and silly and vulnerable in front of each other in a way you’re not with other people.
9. The sex (still) is good. Things might have cooled down since the honeymoon stage, but it’s about quality, not quantity. What's important is that you're both happy with where your love life is.
10. You can be yourself around them. This might sound silly for couples in a long-term relationship, but it’s still just as important. Things like shrinking away to avoid a fight are not things healthy couples do.
They feel comfortable enough to talk things out. They're in a spot where they don't feel like they constantly have to be "on" around the other person.