VALENTINE’S Day often comes with a lot of pressure and expectation about what the day should look like, whether or not you are in a romantic relationship.
We have been conditioned to look outside of ourselves for all of the really important things in life, particularly, pure unconditional love.
My belief is that until we become our own steady source of love, we will end up in the wrong relationships, constantly looking to someone else to give us all of the things that we have not yet been able to give to ourselves.
This Valentine’s Day, consider putting your energy into the relationship that you have with yourself, without giving into the false need to rely on any outer circumstance or person to dictate and determine the course of your day.
Gift yourself with all of the things that you wish to receive or experience on this or any day. It’s magical how when we start valuing ourselves fully, the people in our lives naturally start to show up in a different way by also recognising our worth.
Allow yourself to bask in the beautiful brilliance that is you and to treat yourself to all of the greatness that you long for and deserve.
Try out one or all of these ideas and see which ones resonate with you.
• Have willingness: Commit to changing up the way you have moved through your relationships in the past.
Challenge what hasn’t worked so far and actively commit to understanding who you need to be to love yourself fully and to attract a partner who can also love you for your authentic self.
• Forgive yourself: Excuse yourself for all the times that you may have lost a significant piece of yourself to find another.
Deeply forgiving past mistakes and misjudgments in your past relationships will help you cultivate an open heart that is ready for new experiences.
• Tune in: Take time to check in with yourself and to connect to whatever it is that you need to be, feel or do in that moment.
This will set the tone for your day and activate a presence of love that you can carry with you always.
• Create a positive mantra: We all have a ongoing internal script that we sometimes aren’t even aware of. Become mindful of your inner voice and guide it to choose loving messages whenever the negativity starts to creep in.
Some empowering mantras are: “I love and accept myself always” or “Self love is my birthright” or “I am valuable.”
• Say ‘Yes’ to the party invites: Were you invited to a few parties but respectfully declined because all the festivities included couples? Why not go for a little while anyway?
Enjoy the food, have a drink, and socialize. It’s likely you won’t be the only singleton in attendance, and your couple friends wouldn’t be attending a party if they strictly wanted time alone.
• Eat well: Being selective about what food you choose to nourish your body with, is one of the most important forms of self love.
Know how your food choices affect you and select the ones that create the highest form of energy, comfort and delight in your body.
• Surround yourself with beauty: Our outer environment has great influence over our internal condition. Create a space for yourself that lights you up and fills you up.
Fresh flowers, soft music or an organised home base can all be very helpful in creating a high vibe living area.
• Devote time to a neglected hobby: You probably have a hobby, one that calms your nerves and usually gets pushed to the side when life gets too damn busy.
Take this opportunity to engross yourself in your favourite pastimes. Rock out on your guitar, get back into running, try out a new recipe, read a novel — whatever makes you happy.
It will help you forget about the day and it will give you a sense of accomplishment when you complete whatever task you set for yourself.
• Write yourself a love note: Take some time to write down all of the things that you admire about yourself. Release the urge to point out your flaws.
Your self doubt muscle may be stronger than your self love muscle at the moment, but focusing on your strengths and your gifts will fuel your mission to create more appreciation and gratitude for yourself.
• Call your friends: It’s likely that at least one or two of your friends are also single and plan to spend Valentine's Day alone. Call them up and make it the ultimate buddies’ night.
• Take yourself out on a date: Get dressed up and take yourself out on an outing for one. You get to choose the venue, the vibe and the details so indulge in an activity that is good for your soul and will bring you the highest amount of joy.
• Spoil yourself: Always remember to indulge in things that create passion and excitement in your life. These are the things that fuel you to consistently function at your best and flood you with good energy. Whether it is a great book or a walk in nature, be sure to set this valuable time aside for yourself.
Never underestimate the power and value in nurturing the relationship that you have with yourself. Self love breeds confidence, success and joy within you.
With it comes the great power to breath light into every corner of your life and is the key to creating healthy and lasting relationships with others.
Write yourself that beautiful love note, buy yourself that piece of art that moves you and honour the time you have set aside to honour, love and care for the priceless perfection that is you.
Remember, Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be reserved for couples. You work hard. Show yourself a little love and treat numero uno to something special for a change.