Many of my friends blame themselves for every failed relationship and end up concluding that they must just be a magnet for jerks.
It’s a problem that lots of women struggle with all the time: They think that they only attract men who end up being terrible boyfriends.
It seems like a problem with no solution because it takes your individual power away from you and places it all in the hands of an unknown suitor who never turns out to be a gentleman.
But I’m here to tell you the way to fix this problem in three easy steps.
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• Admit that you deserve it: One of the most common problems I encounter with my clients is that they don’t think they deserve love.
They might have even found a partner, but they haven’t found a quality partner because they don’t think they deserve one.
What my clients don’t realise is that unless they think they deserve it, they’re never going to find a satisfying relationship. What man is attracted to a woman who thinks that she’s not worth anything? You need to have the confidence and self-esteem to project dateability.
Everyone has positive qualities, even if they don’t realise it. Okay, so you don’t have a job or you don’t have a degree or you had a bad relationship —that doesn’t mean that you wouldn’t be an understanding, compassionate, interesting and fun girlfriend.
Everyone deserves a chance to give their best qualities to a partner, no matter their circumstances. You need to remember that you have a lot to offer and soon enough a handsome man will too!
• Present a positive attitude: Now that you’ve figured out that you deserve a happy relationship, you need to adjust your attitude so you can attract one.
If you keep expecting to attract the wrong kind of guy, you’re projecting low expectations and a pessimistic attitude about love.
So who do you think will be attracted to that? A pessimistic guy who isn’t looking to meet ambitious expectations and who doesn’t want a lot of boyfriend responsibilities.
If you don’t present a positive attitude, you’re not going to catch the eye of a positive guy.
There’s a quick tip to help keep your attitude positive, especially useful for those of you who hate dating. Approach every situation as though you’re going to have a good time.
Arrive to every date confident that the man on the other side of the table is going to be the love of your life. Because one of these times, he will be!
• Figure yourself out: If you’ve mastered the first two steps and you still can’t seem to land a quality man, there might be a problem with your process.
Do you know who you’re looking for? I’m not looking for a list like “Tall, dark and handsome.” Do you know what kind of relationship you want? If you haven’t decided what you’re looking for, how can you expect to find someone who satisfies you?
It’s fine to shop around. You can casually date several different types of guys until you determine what you’re looking for.
You can’t enter serious relationships with every one of them and then be confused and unhappy when it doesn’t go perfectly. Figure out what you want so when you see it, you can grab it. Or let him grab you!
You don’t have to settle for being a jerk-magnet. Use these three steps to change yourself instead of trying to change a dirtbag into a quality boyfriend.