Connecting with people romantically, emotionally, and physically is really amazing. But there's a lot of work that goes into building a good relationship. What are some tips for having a great relationship? How do you know if your relationship is healthy? How can I make my relationship better? This page has some great articles and stories about relationships.
The evening was splendid and Zack left a lasting impression on Araba. They had a lot to talk about; from school to work, church and how odd it was for both of them to agree on a blind date and Araba wished time would freeze; forgetting she lived two hours away from The Grill and that she had work the following day.
I was standing at the entrance of a swanky bar on an unremarkable Wednesday night in September the first time I saw the light hit his face. Every cell in my body became a choir — resounding a synchronized "whoa." I was certain he was the most fascinating work of architecture I had ever had the pleasure of marveling at.
A Man cannot be in love with a woman he doesn't respect. Respect Yourself, respect yourself. He can date her (informally and non-exclusively), sleep with her etc. but the relationship will never reach the next level. It will remain stagnant and ultimately die. Here is how to earn your man's respect.
Ten months ago, thirty-something Jessica was eager to get pregnant. A series of relationships had failed so she tried a radically new approach - she posted an advert online. The outcome turned out to be far better than she had hoped.
Two days passed and Araba had not texted Zack back. He had not texted either. She kept looking at her phone and anytime it beeped she anticipated it was him but it wasn’t. Had he forgotten about her so soon? She wondered. She dearly wanted to send him that message but she didn’t. She didn’t want to send a wrong signal to him. If he were serious about wanting to meet her again he would text or better still call her, she thought to herself.
All too soon, the clock ticked 5pm and it was time to leave work. She packed her stuff, picked her bag and phone; suddenly, her phone beeped. She quickly rushed to check who it was. It was Zack. He hadn’t forgotten about her. He hadn’t forgotten about his proposal to meet up with her again.
Your relationship ended. Maybe it's because you lied or cheated, or maybe you simply stopped giving him the attention he deserved. Either way, you know it's your fault — but you want to fix things between you and your ex.
No matter what happened, getting your ex to forgive you takes work, but it's not completely impossible.
First, a warning, however. Your ex’s forgiveness is never guaranteed. In fact, you might never get your ex to completely forgive you. But what I can offer is a roadmap that will hopefully lead to forgiveness and maybe even a second chance at love.
Here's how to get an ex to forgive you and give your relationship a second chance:
1. Start by deciding what you really want.
Sometimes, all of this striving won’t really get you the kind of relationship that you want in the end. It’s important to take a step back and think about whether it’s your ex who you miss, or if it’s the act of being in a relationship with them that's really bothering you. You can do everything under the sun to get your ex back, but if your relationship with them isn't right in the first place, it’s a huge waste of time and energy.
Once you get clear on this, and it's your ex who you indeed miss, proceed.
2. Take complete responsibility for your part, and apologize sincerely.
So often we think that providing a genuine apology is a weakness, when really it’s the first step in getting things between the two of you to where they’re good again. Think of your sincere apology as opening the door and clearing the way to a better future between the two of you.
One caveat: You can’t apologize sloppily.
What do I mean by sloppily? “Oh my goodness dear, wonderful ex, I’m the most wrong person in the history of wrongness, and everything I ever did was for us and I somehow lost my path. I love you now and forever, please forgive me. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
There are a few problems with this type of apology. It comes off ultra pathetic, and it’s clear that you’re trying to get something from your ex. Now, you ARE trying to get something from them (their forgiveness) but they shouldn't lose respect for you during your apology!
Instead, something like this is better: “I wanted to let you know that I’m really sorry for (whatever I did). It wasn’t the right thing to do or fair to you. You deserve better. I’m sorry.”
This type of approach is better for several reasons. First, it's crystal clear exactly what you’re apologizing for. You aren’t groveling for the entire history of your relationship or making yourself look like a pathetic, sappy mess. Second, you’re also recognizing and taking responsibility for the hurt that you caused them. Get in, get it done, get out.
3. Accept that they might punish you for a while.
Sometimes we hope that we’ll say the magic apology and our ex will immediately jump back into our arms, ready to forget about everything that happened. Unfortunately, this seldom happens. Depending on what you did, your ex is possibly still angry with you and will have a difficult time treating you the way you wish they would treat you.
Now, I never advocate letting anyone abuse you, and it’s up to you to decide how much of an emotional beating you’re willing to take. However, happy times might not happen again right away, and you’ve got to let them work through the anger and hurt, even after your sincere apology. That leads me to my next point.
4. Give them the time and space they need, in order to forgive you.
Knowing that they’re still upset or hurt can make us feel guilty and bad in our ex’s presence. We yearn for things between us to go back to how they once were, and we just want to get the whole process over with so things are happy again.
The problem is that often we want all of this way too soon. It can take a long time for someone to feel better around you, and you have to recognize this when looking for forgiveness. Let them process their feelings and give them some space to do it.
5. Avoid becoming defensive.
It’s up to you to maintain a clear head in the face of whatever they might toss your way. Avoid the temptation to roll into an emotional ball, re-apologize, or launch into more explanations for your behavior.
Instead, stay calm, accept that they’re still emotional about what happened, and make them feel heard.
A good statement — like, “I completely understand why you’re upset about that” — works well. Let them get it out, and then gently move the conversation on or remove yourself from it.
You listing the 24 reasons why you did what you did and apologizing profusely YET AGAIN will just add fuel to the fire. Instead, keep your eye on your real end goal — a harmonious relationship with your ex. Getting defensive and fighting doesn’t accomplish that goal.
I realize it’s hard when you feel like they're attacking you, but it’s so important that you avoid saying something that you know will devastate them. Don't fight back. Stay cool.
6. Continue trying to make it fun, even though it's not fun right now.
The biggest mistake that people make with their exes is that they let their earlier, negative patterns continue, while they’re trying to get their ex back. What I mean is that instead of using their actions to remind their ex how amazing things were in the beginning of their relationship, they go back in and rehash all of the old, negative emotions.
If you really want your ex to forgive you, this is the wrong thing to do because it only reinforces the negative patterns and feelings between the two of you. If they're going to forgive you and repair your relationship, breaking that negative cycle is absolutely crucial.
Six months came quick and Araba had gotten more composed; not worrying about her relationship status and not bothered about what others thought of her. After all she was in no race with anyone. And although her circle of friends were all married with a child or two, she was convinced that her prince charming would come when she least expected it.
She had gotten so immersed in building her relationship with God that she didn’t even realize the year was nearing to an end with just three months away. But she wasn’t the only girl among her circle of friends left without a wedding band on her ring finger; Joyce was also unmarried just that she had a boyfriend to boast of.
Hard as it was for Araba to move on following her breakup with Raymond, she was left with no choice. All she had was her life to continue with, a loving family and supportive friends. She also had a God to depend on. He had been her source of strength right from the beginning. There was no time to pity-party.
Her strength was admired by friends and family. They couldn't believe that she had quickly moved on with her life. After all what more could she do? She had to complete her schooling and she had to concentrate at work as she was still on probation. There was no way Raymond's impatience or decisions were going to stand in her way to success. It was difficult yet easy for her to quickly move on.
"Grab a cup of tea and go to bed. It will do you some good."
That was the response at the other end of the phone when Araba called him to catch up on the events of the day. She was however met with a female voice; and surprised at the first instance she called his number again to be sure that she hadn't called a wrong number.
It is beautiful to fall in love and marry. You are caught in passion and have the highest level of emotional fulfillment where many difficulties may be ignored.
Sadly, for many couples the good feelings soon taper off as they enter a distractions stage when lesser attention is paid to the good things in the marriage and greater attention to the weaknesses in the marriage.
Sex is a wonderful, glorious and necessary component of an intimate relationship. It makes you feel good, it makes the other person feel good, it’s great for your health and it’s a great way to end, or start, the day.
In an ideal world, every sexually active human would be having earth-shatteringly good shags, but, alas, it’s fair to say things don’t always go as planned. Sometimes, they go very, very wrong.