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Truth or consequences

• By withholding information, you hamper the ability of your doctor, dietician or any other person who can help  give you the proper care and advice.Let us begin by committing ourselves to the truth, to see it like it is and to tell it like it is….
—Richard Milhous Nixon

“Do you exercise and if you do, how often?” I hesitated before answering her question. Should I say it as it is or should I tweak the truth a little bit?

Would she see me as lazy if I told her not much over recent months? I never said I was a fitness guru did I? Anyway, truth won. What about you? Have you ever been less than truthful with your doctor?

I have been thinking about openness and in particular, about what we agree to be honest about and where honesty breaks down in the service of personal convenience. Openness is a very important ingredient in building any level of communication with people, especially in relationships.

But today, that is not what I want to talk about. Openness covers a lot of areas and eventually, I might touch on some of the areas but let’s focus on being open about our health.

From the time we can communicate at all, we learn that certain issues can be talked about openly and others too are taboo, so to speak. Sickness was one of the topics, sin too and yes, sex. I’ll call it the taboo of the ‘S’ words. Shhhh…..don’t tell my grandma Martha, I said the word.

She sure would turn in her grave if she could hear me. It wasn’t until I became an adult that I found out that the dreaded disease that no one in my household would mention by name was actually cancer. When a relative got sick and was hospitalised, I was curious about the cause of the illness.

My grandma lowered herself to my height and whispered that the relative had the ‘C disease’. “C disease”? “Don’t ask me anymore questions”, she warned. “This is a disease we don’t talk about”. So I kept quiet, thinking about this hush hush ‘alphabetised’ disease.

This brings me back to my topic for today. We learn that it may be all right not to talk about certain things when it  will cause pain, shame, embarrassment or judgement.

When asked by their doctors, some bend the truth about almost everything. About how much they drink or smoke, how unhealthily they eat, how little they exercise, how many sexual partners they’ve had, among other things.

You know very well that you drink two bottles of beer a day, yet you tell the doctor you drink a glass of wine a day. How about when you exaggerate about how often you exercise or lie about taking your medication as prescribed or how you are following the dietary plan you were given or you say you do not smoke anymore when in reality, the opposite is the truth?

I can give you so many examples but I am sure we all know the lifestyle choices we make that are not in our best interest. Sometimes, the small untruths are innocent oversights and other times, they are conscious misstatements.

Either way, it matters. Many of the things we do not want to be open about can have consequences. By withholding information, you hamper the ability of your doctor, dietician or any other person who can help, give you the proper care and advice.

This became so real to me through a personal experience of an acquaintance. Not a single person in the house his mother shared with others knew she was asthmatic.

Out of breath and fighting for her life, perhaps the inhaler in her drawer could have saved her life. Maybe she might have made it to the hospital in spite of the horrendous traffic. They would never know now, would they? So maybe, just maybe is all they can say.

So how open should you be? Do you need to tell the lady selling roasted plantain in front of your house or to all the people on your street? Of course not!

Not everyone needs to know or even wants to know. But when withholding information about the state of your health can cost you your well-being or even life, then perhaps you need to make an exception.

Be open with the people who live in your house or someone very close to you so that in case of an emergency, they know what to do. Be open with health providers. Whether you choose to lie or tell the truth, think about whether or not it is justified. Think about the consequences. If the good consequences outweigh the bad. Open up!

For me, openness means moving beyond the boundaries of the familiar, in particular, the walls that have been erected by my background and tradition when it comes to talking about ‘off limit’ topics.

Do you have any health issue or questions that you need to talk to someone about? Remember that you really have nothing to gain if you withhold information. Pretending to be healthy doesn't make it so.

I started the year by talking about resolutions and I want you to add one more to your list- Openness. Will you give the truth or you are prepared to live with the consequences if you don’t? Which would you choose?

Truth or Consequences? It is your life, your style.

By Barbara Sai Djangmah / The Mirror / Ghana

The writer is a Lifestyle Coach & Author of ‘The Seduction of Food’
[email protected]

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