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Thinking of dating? Wait till you are 18

Thinking of dating? Wait till you are 18

Very often, young men and women are caught up in the burden that comes with relationships that have happened too early.

It is great for teenagers to become independent and grow into adulthood learning a lot from life but developing healthy teens also means protecting them from heartbreak along the way.

Nobody can wish away dating among adolescents but it is important that there are healthy interactions with the opposite sex when the time is right. I dare say that for any teenager who is under the age of 18, here are some reasons why I think you should wait before dating.

Your teen years are for getting to know yourself. If I could tell every single teenager one thing, it would be this: YOU are the most important person you will ever date. It’s so easy to get caught up in finding someone to date, all the while forgetting to take the time to really get to know yourself. But if you don’t know who you are, you’ll never recognise the kind of person who fits into your life (or worse yet, the kind of person who DOESN’T). Take this time to learn about yourself, to understand your identity and to catch a vision for your future. You’ll never regret the time you invest in yourself.

You open yourself up to unnecessary major heartbreak, temptations and pain when you start dating early. Dating and relationships are hard enough as it is, but they’re even harder to deal with when you’re not emotionally and physically ready to handle them. We could argue that some teens are more mature than others, but research proves that the teen years are the time when a teenager’s brain is going through the MOST growth and change it will ever go through in your life (aka it’s not quite ready!) With all the changes happening in a teen’s body, paired with the social pressures that come from a relationship, it’s no wonder so many times teenage relationships lead to major heartbreak, pain, and “going too far physically and emotionally”.

Most relationships that are actually going somewhere don’t develop until after high school. Want to know the cold, hard truth? Less than two per cent of people marry their high school sweethearts. I know that’s hard to believe, because high school relationships are so romanticised. Not only are there few people meeting in high school and getting married later, but many of those who do, end up less satisfied in their marriages years later. We look at high school relationships and getting married later, as “cute” and “harmless”, but what we’re not realising is that they aren’t harmless – because when they go wrong (which they often do), they have the power to devastate a young person’s life and future.

A confident teenager doesn’t need someone to make him or her feel complete. It is said that usually teenagers in dating relationships “boost their confidence”. But the truth is, though a relationship might make someone feel better about herself, it’s only temporary. People who are truly confident about themselves understand that their value and worth are not tied up in their relationship status. They don’t need someone to “complete them” because they are working on feeling complete standing alone.

It makes sense that the average teenager has a strong desire to be in a relationship – because we’re relational beings made by God for relationships! So instead of getting exclusive with someone of the opposite sex, open your heart and life to friendships, group activities, and learn to develop your confidence based on who you are and what you have to offer the world around you.

This time in your life is meant to be enjoyed! My dear teenager, don’t hurry into relationships since that time will come up soon. To be blunt with you teens, this is a time in your life in which you were meant to be single. That might sound so old-fashioned but that is the truth because very soon you would be pairing up with the opposite sex and that comes with so much to handle, understand and navigate. Seeking out relationships at this young age forces you to believe that your main purpose in life is to find someone to love you, when really, this stage of life should be all about learning to love yourself.

It’s good to use your adolescence to focus on the things that really matter and maybe even begin to catch a glimpse of the things that you want to do, given your capabilities etc. Develop your strengths and know your weaknesses, but most importantly- have a lot of fun.

Relationships will always be a part of your life, but friends and family won’t. Use this time to enjoy the people around you- not for what they have to offer you, but for what you have to offer them.

Embracing singleness during your teenage years doesn’t mean that you give up the desire to find true love, but that you simply learn to enjoy the ride right here, and right now.

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