Picking yourself after failure
No one likes to fail. Whether it is at work, at home or in another area of your life, failure is painful and it can also be costly in terms of time, money, or both.
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But failure is a normal part of life. If you never, ever suffer a failure, then you are probably not pushing yourself to your full potential. Often, it is only through failure that we eventually meet with success.
Failing does not mean that you are worthless, or that you will never achieve the things you want. Most people don’t talk openly about their failures.
They would tell you about that great new contract they signed, not that deal they worked on for months, only to have it slip through their fingers.
But failure is normal, and lots of people fail time and time again before meeting with success.
Record your successes and failures
Think of all the times in the past when you have succeeded.
Maybe you got a promotion that you worked for last year, or you had a great GPA in college, or you lost weight, or you learned to play a musical instrument.
You might want to write down a list of successes in things that you have accomplished over the past few years, whether big or small.
If you ever lack confidence, you can go back and read over that list.
Your past successes are important but so are your past failures. You have made mistakes before, and you have survived them. Perhaps you did badly in an exam, or screwed something up at work, or lost your temper and had to apologise.
It is not fun to think about the times when things went wrong, but by acknowledging your failures, you can remind yourself that today is no different. Just as you recovered in the past, you can recover from your recent failure too.
Make a decision
Whatever went wrong, you are probably facing some sort of decision, once the initial consequences are over. For instance, perhaps you took out a credit card and ended up in debt. You are facing two choices: keep using the card, or make it inaccessible in some way.
Do not rush into making hasty decisions but do look for a forward path. That might require some deep thinking.
You can help yourself by:
• Getting some extra advice and support with a particular area of your life, perhaps from a professional such as a doctor, personal trainer, life coach, or counsellor.
• Reading and learning more, if a lack of knowledge led to your failure.
• Talking through your options with a loved one or close friend, or writing in a journal about the decision (s) that you face.
“Doing nothing” is certainly an option but it is a decision in itself, and often one that won’t lead to anything positive.
Whatever failure you are struggling with right now, you can learn from it and move on.
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